A Trail of Songs
by feather-ink
Summary: A trail of songs to map out her life. Kat has hidden it for so long. Will she open her heart? Question is who to? L or Beyond. An AU Death Note story.
1. Chapter 1

My first story is an AU Death Note, so I hope you guys like it!

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"Hey Kat!" My door swung open, hitting the wall with a bang.

"Misa, please be careful." The blond tackled me, knocking me off my bed onto the floor.

"Sorry Kat." She said cheerfully. It was one of the things I loved about Misa, she was always so happy, even if it got annoying at times.

"Is it time to go already?" Misa nodded before asking me what I thought of her outfit. Misa had her own particular style. It was...different but unique.

"What do you think?" I looked over all the bows and lace and frills.

"It's certainly making a statement." Misa squealed and clapped her hands. In comparison to Misa's outfit, mine was rather dull. Simple white jeans paired with a blue long sleeve and a black skirt, black high tops and a black vest with a white and blue tie. Misa managed most of my outfits but I always removed all the...extra accessories. I did keep the keep the mesh chain on my jeans though and all the bracelets that Misa made for me over the years.

"Kat! Your hair! It's a mess!" Misa shoved me into the vanity seat. My hair was naturally jet black, like my father's, but Misa had helped me dye some blue streaks into it. Beyond had later insisted that the blue stood for Misa's eyes and that I should get red streaks for his. So that's what happened. Misa brushed it out, working some of her magic on it before taking two strands on the sides and clipping them back.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Misa-Misa is happy to help." She pumped her arm, giving me her best determination face before breaking into a fit of giggles.

"Could you hand me my bag?" Misa nodded and scampered to my bed where my messenger styled bag lay under my pillow.

"Hey Kat? What's this?" I turned. Misa was lifting the black drape on my headboard wall.

"Nothing! Please don't touch it!" Misa froze and turned to me, her big blue eyes were wide.

"Oh, uh sorry, Kat, I di- didn't know it was o-off limits." Misa began crying. Running to my weeping friend, I enveloped her in a hug, stroking her head.

"Misa, Misa I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, it's just private." When she didn't stop crying I resorted to plan B. "Your mascara is running." Immediately she stopped.

"It's okay Kat. That wall is probably full of posters with guys on 'em huh?" My face heated up.

"Wha- No, why would you-"

"That's okay, I won't tell." Misa skipped out of my room and I tugged frustratedly on my bangs before throwing them over my amber colored eye. My eyes were two different colors, amber, and dark blue. Rubbing my temples I banged my head on my hands before leaving my room and following Misa.

"Kala! You need to eat!" My mother was sitting at the table, cup of coffee in her hand, a cup of tea in front of her and a mountain crepes next to a bottle of diet pills.

"Make me!" I slammed the front door, kicking the porch. I heard a muffled 'Kala Adrienne Thatcher!' before the door actually closed all the way. I hated my name, it was creepy but mom thought it sounded nice.

My name is horrible.

"Kat, you really should be nicer to your mom." Misa pouted, latching onto my arm. Malcolm, our driver, stood by the garage.

"I got your bike fixed last night Miss." He said, looking straight ahead.

"Yes! Thank you so much!" I hugged the old man, the excitement escaping my throat in nervous bubbles. The Garage opened and my beautiful motorcycle stood in all it's black shining glory.

"Kat." Misa said.

"I'll be nice to her when she starts being nice to me. She called you an air head, and a dimwit and she called Beyond a thug!" I angrily tugged my helmet from the hook, tossing Misa her powder blue one.

"Misa is not an airhead!" She said, stamping her foot and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and smile. "But Beyond is kind of a thug." she twiddled her thumbs.

"Beyond is not a thug! He's just...different." I mumble as I climb on, Misa getting on behind me and clinging to my waist as I revved the engine.

"Thanks Malcolm, I owe you one!" I called as I pulled away. The drive was quiet, save for the wind that was whistling past. We pulled up to Beyond's house. Climbing off my bike, Misa tripping next to me, we walked up to the front door.

"Hey Mr. Birthday, is Beyond ready yet?" Mr. Birthday wasn't a big man but he was tall and well built, long story short, he could snap me like a tooth pick if I pissed him off. He looked exactly like Beyond, same black hair and pale skin but he didn't have Beyond's garnet red eyes, Mr. Birthday had brown eyes.

"I'm right here!" Beyond stepped around the hallway corner, a jar of strawberry jam in his hand. I waved, smiling as Misa did the same.

The three of us went all the way back to kindergarten. It was a private school but somehow, we all ended up in the same class. Beyond and I were natural loners while Misa was pretty popular but went through friends like tic tacs. I met Beyond first, some kids were making fun of him. At first I didn't step in because my mother's rules had resounded in my head and I remembered that our store of alcohol was running low. As it was, Beyond got beat up.

I had approached him and offered him half my bag of strawberries. He had looked at me suspiciously at first before taking the bag. We started out just eating together at lunch and pairing up for partner work because I never saw him outside of school. I met Misa through her mother. Mrs. Amane was one of the best seamstresses in the whole state. Mother had called her in for her to make a series of dresses for her. One day, she had brought Misa and we started playing together.

Over time we grew closer. I considered these two misfits my family. We'd made a blood pact in sixth grade. We would always stay by each other's side, we were, and still are, family. It'll always be that way.

Beyond shuffled out, sticking his jam jar in his backpack pocket before opening up his garage to get his own bike. Wordlessly we started up our bikes and took off.

The ride to school wasn't long and only took a few minutes but I used those minutes to clear my mind.

The school was old, a multi story building full of teenage brainiacs and it's own selection of oddballs and misfits like us. But it also had it's choice of bullies. Like Teru Mikami and Kyosuke Higuchi. They were some of the most insane, immature and cruel people in the school. They always waited for us to enter the gates. They were actually the reason my bike had to get fixed. The morons had run it into the middle of the street where it was hit with a semi truck.

Suffice to say, they didn't try it again.

Beyond was still laughing about it.

"Hey Freaks!" Speak of the devil and they shall appear.

"I must say, your creativity is astonishing as usual." Beyond says as Misa and I take off our helmets. My blond friend began fussing over her hair and I had to help her or suffer the wrath of a Level Four Hissy Fit.

"I see you brought the rich creep and the bimbo." Higuchi sneered.

"Creep!?" I yelled.

"Bimbo!?" Misa yelled at the same time.

"Say it again and see what happens!" I yell, stalking forward, rolling up my sleeve. Beyond slipped his arm around my waist, tugging me to him as I struggled. "Damn it B! Let me go!"

"See, didn't I tell you? Creep. She's as insane as he is." Mikami laughed. Beyond practically dragged me through the school gate and up the walkway as Misa opened the doors to the school.

There was always an empty hallway somewhere and Beyond always seemed to know where they all were.

"Kat, you need to calm down." Beyond's hands were on my biceps, squeezing hard as the fire in his eyes ignited.

"Beyond, please, let go of my arm." I clenched my teeth, fighting the pain in my arms as B let go.

"Sorry." He rubbed the back of his head. Misa glanced between us before handing B his jam jar, it had fallen out of his backpack when he was carrying me.

"No, I'm sorry. I was stupid." We began walking, stopping at Misa's locker. She began fixing her hair and makeup in the full door locker mirror.

"Kat you aren't stupid."

"Yeah, but-"

"Just shut up." He chuckles, taking a spoon from his pocket and working on his jam. We hopped around, getting to B's locker, stocked hecka-ful with jam, before arriving at my locker. It was a little awkward because my locker neighbor was an old crush of Beyond's. Normally we were able to avoid it after careful scheduling but I suppose our little calm down session in the hallway threw it off.

"Hello Kala, Misa, Beyond."

A chorus of "Oh, hey L." rang out between the three of us.

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So what'd you think of the first chapter? I hope it was okay! Reviews mean a lot! Thank you!

~feather-ink


	2. Chapter 2

So here's the next chapter. I'm in California right now and I haven't got anything to do really so I'll try and update these chapters as soon as possible.

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"Odd seeing all three of you here. You seem to go to such lengths to avoid coming here at the same time I do." Misa stared, she didn't really like L. She thought he was a pervert. Beyond used to like him but now it was just awkward for him. I personally had no problem with L. He was different, I can't really judge him with that, but he had his brothers, Matt, Mello and Near to back him up. Though, from what I've seen, he can hold his own. I respected L, he was smart enough, smarter than me, to hold a good conversation.

"L! I need ten bucks!" We all swiveled only to see a blur of black and yellow, almost like an over sized bumble bee. When the shape stopped moving we saw Mello in all his leathered glory. Mello was in a category all on his own. He was often teased for having a feminine figure but his anger more than made up for it. Elijah Carter had made fun of him a few weeks ago, he just got out of the hospital three days ago. Mello of course, just got back from his suspension.

Regardless of his angry nature, he was smart like L, all L's brothers were.

"Why do you need ten dollars Mello?" We started to leave as Mello said:

"Chocolate money."

We made it to first period, shuffling to the back of the class and taking our seats.

"You okay B?" Misa and I ask at the same time. B seemed to take a moment to collect himself before speaking.

"Of course I am. It was a one time thing alright? I'm over it." He said. He may have fooled Misa into believing he was well and truly over it but that wasn't the case.

It wasn't that he was still hooked on L rather that he was sick and tired of us pitying him. But as strong as Beyond acted, he was still fragile. He was like a spinning top, spinning at the edge of a cliff. He was dangerous but he really was a good guy. I was just afraid that one day, something will happen and he might lean too far and I might not get him back.

His jaw was clenched and I could see the veins in his wrists. He wore a black short sleeve with a grey long sleeve underneath but the sleeves were pushed up. On his left wrist was a black bracelet, made of a thick black cord with as series of blue, red and amber beads braided in. I wore the matching bracelet, as did Misa. It was our little friend ship bracelet but B was twisting the cord, cutting off the circulation in his finger and wrist at the same time but he didn't seem to notice.

Silently, I take his hand and untwist the bracelet, squeezing his hand before laying my arms on my desk and dropping my head. I could feel B's eyes on me but I ignored them, mentally preparing myself to get through the day. No doubt Mikami and Higuchi had told the principal and I would definitely hear about it at home.

Subconsciously, my hands curled and my back tensed, arching slightly. Two hands on my shoulders instantly loosened me up. B's on my right and Misa's on my left. I gave them a small smile before dropping my head again.

We were an odd bunch, fragile but strong. Unstable but loyal. We had each other and I suppose that's enough. But honestly, I am so happy to have them. Class began and I pulled my head from my desk, mentally screaming in protest as a spike of pain speared my brain.

I'm not sure if Beyond noticed but if he did or did not, he didn't do anything. The teacher seemed to enjoy asking me questions. All the teachers did. Along with me, the smartest teens in the school were L, Mello, Matt and Near respectively as well as prissy boy Light Yagami and Beyond. The act got old after a while. Finishing assignments for the next weeks, waiting, meeting with teachers and my parents to discuss my progress and the prospect of signing up as a tutor for middle school students and other crap like that.

By the time lunch came around, I was already at my wits end. Our normal eating spot was under a tree, providing just enough room for the three of us, our backpacks, Misa's blanket and her after make up. Beyond was already under the tree, eating jam as Misa babbled in between bites of her salad. I was usually on coffee duty so I handed them their cups.

I didn't eat lunch most days, I was content with sitting down next to Beyond and simply relaxing.

"You know Kat. If you don't eat, you'll get all bony and ghosty."

"Ghosty?" Beyond questioned, his spoon halfway to his mouth. He used to eat with his fingers but Misa had thrown a Level three Hissy Fit about germs and contamination and had forced Beyond to eat with a spoon. "I think you mean Wraith." He said, going back to messily eating his jam.

"Why would she be mad?" Misa asked.

"Not Wrath. Wraith. Back to the point. Kat, eat something." He waved his spoon at me, a glob of ruby jelly fell onto the grass. He stared at like he had lost a piece of his soul. While Beyond stared at his fallen jam, Misa dove into a lecture about the different degrees of thinness.

"I'm not hungry." I say simply, interrupting Misa's explanation about the fourth degree of thinness.

"You leave me no choice Kat." I turned and saw fire in B's eyes. But it wasn't that angry psycho fire, it was the 'I'm going to do something totally uncalled for' smile. Before I could question it, Beyond had me pinned on the ground and he was shoving half a jam sandwich in my mouth. Once he'd gotten a bite into my mouth, he forced it closed, making me swallow.

"That was uncalled for! Get off!" Beyond didn't look like he weighed much but he was mostly muscle.

"Not until you finish the sandwich!"

"I won't live that long if you keep me from breathing!"

"To bad!" I had been force fed half the sandwich when we heard obnoxious laughter. Beyond still on top of me, I had to crane my neck to get a glimpse of the leather clad person.

"Mello, how are you?" I asked from the ground. Mello nudged Matt who was too absorbed in his Game Boy.

"Look at the two oddball love birds. How sweet...and pathetic." Beyond was off me in an instance and I scrambled up to stop him.

The last time Beyond and Mello had fought it was because of Misa and I. Not really me, mainly Misa. Someone had mistaken Mello for Misa but Misa had been close by and heard. She'd gotten all huffy saying that she would never wear something as hideous as leather and that had set Mello off. Then the two had gotten to yelling when Misa said that Mello was nothing but a cheap look alike and that she looked better than him. They'd branched off talking about each other's friends, because, well, we are kind of odd. Mello had insulted Beyond and I, I had told Beyond to simply go drag Misa off but he had gone and started a fight with Mello.

It took Misa, myself, Matt, Near, L, twelve students and two teachers to break it up. Those directly involved, Beyond, Mello and Misa had been sent to the principal. I had been waiting in the hall with L, Matt and Near and saw a few bruises even though they weren't _really_ the ones fighting. I wasn't in the best shape myself. Mello and Beyond had been in the nurses office for three straight hours then they were sent to a local clinic for further work.

"Beyond, leave it." Risking my life, I walk in between them. Setting my hands on his shoulders I give him a small push. "B, come on, please." Matt seemed to notice and put his game away, tugging on Mello's arm. The problem with Mello, is that he loves fighting, and he'll start a fight whenever he can. He knows he can get a rise out of B with something simple and that's just what he did. Misa was watching worriedly and out of the corner of my eyes, I can make out some kids exchanging money.

"Mello, let's go."

"Beyond, come on." Beyond gave a small snarl before shaking off my hands and turning around.

"You'll do whatever she wants huh, you pathetic lapdog." In the split second it took for Beyond to turn around I had punched Mello. The blue eyed teen fell onto the grass, clutching his cheek.

"Don't call him pathetic." I saw before grabbing Beyond and walking away, knowing Misa was following.

We got to the back of the school before I socked Beyond in the stomach with an uppercut.

"What was that for?" He asked, hissing in pain.

"_That, _Beyond was for not walking away when I told you to." I slapped him next. "_That_ was for going in for a second time!" Hugging him I whisper "_This_ is for standing up for me."

"Aww!" Misa squealed. "Mello may be a jerk but he is so right! You two should totally go out!"

"What!?" Came the overlapping response.

"Misa are you crazy? I love Beyond but that'd be weird. Right B? Back me up here."

"Yeah, that'd be crazy."

I may have been imagining it but something flashed in his eyes.

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So viola! The second chapter! I hope you all liked it! Thank you for reading!

~feather-ink


	3. Chapter 3

Installment number three! Hope you guys like it!

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Misa was waiting for me when I got out of the locker room. She was filing her nails, leaning on the wall, and watching as some other kids filed out. Unfortunately, Beyond didn't have P.E. with us but we had L and his brothers. All though, come to think of it, Near never really participated, he sat against the wall and got yelled at by the coach. You'd think our coach would learn that the albino boy wouldn't change into his gym clothes.

He used to sit out in the hall in his uniform, no one wore the uniform anymore, Misa had started a petition and may have possibly thrown a series of very serious hissy fits to get rid of the uniforms. But that's besides the point. Near sat in the hall before coming to a compromise with the coach that he would at least watch the class.

Mello was stretching in a corner, getting pumped for the run while Matt was not to discreetly playing on another gaming device. L was crouched in the corner behind them, seemingly ignoring the world around him but years of being in the same class as him had taught me differently. He was watching, watching everything, but not in a stalkerish way, let's call it observing. L may not be a people person and he may be socially awkward but he seemed to understand how other people acted to the point where he could copy them exactly, it was also a skill Beyond had perfected, in my opinion it was pretty cool but pretty creepy at the same time.

Today was a running day, we all knew we'd be creamed by Mello who ran like he was being chased by tigers. It's pretty common knowledge that Mello has an inferiority complex when it comes to Near and the only way he could best Near was in a physical aspect. Once the whole class had come to the gym, we all filed out and began our run. Misa gave up a fifth of the way in and told me to go on without her. Rolling my eyes at the blond, I continue jogging.

I love Misa but sometimes I just wanted to hit her, softly. She could finish the run, I know she could. I'd seen her bolt after some girl who'd worn the same outfit as her to provoke her. Misa was athletic but she refused to seem that way, more attention I suppose. She was also pretty smart to, not up to par with me or B but she still had good grades.

Thanks to Misa's ingenious design, all my clothes were wired with headphones that clipped into a small belt that was buckled around my hips. The belt held my IPod. Depending on how I wired it, the headphones went either up my arm or just right up my torso. I honest to God, could not function without my music, if I didn't have music then I would probably just keel over and die on the spot.

I sensed a presence outside my field of vision. Pulling out an ear bud and turning my head, I saw L.

"Your music is quite loud. Does it help you concentrate?" Unlike most everyone else in the class, L had yet to break a sweat and was not huffing and puffing as we ran.

"Yes, I suppose it does."

"Do you mind if I ask you another question?"

"I believe you just did." L didn't smile but it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was amused.

"Well, then, may I ask a follow up question after this one?" I nod, a small grin on my face.

"Sure."

"Is there a reason you act differently when around your parents?" There would have been complete silence but I stumbled over my own feet and fell. L screeched to a halt and sort of stared at me for a moment before offering his hand. I ran a hand through my hair, being sure not to disturb my bangs and sighed.

"Are you alright?" He asks, as we begin running again.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine, your question was just startling, that's all."

"If you feel obligated to answer, you don't have to if it makes you trip and fall." I scoff lightly.

"It's not that it makes me trip, it was just an unsettling question."

The bell rang.

"I better go find Misa."

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"Alright class, today you will begin a three month project." The class was filled with groans and some near silent yes's from the hard core nerds.

"You will be put into groups of four. You will constantly get to together with your group. This is a social project. Each of you will write a report on the three other people in your group. Get to know them. You will then compare them with your group members. Don't just make it a profile or an essay, make it a sort of observation biography. I'm not setting a page limit but if you turn in a single sheet of paper I'll fail you. Now, I'm picking your groups."

My eyes widened. Misa and Beyond were in this class, sure we'd have an extra person but at least we'd all be together. But now, Mr. Sidoh was choosing the groups.

"Kala, Beyond, Light, and L."

_What!_

My eyes connected with Beyond's first before finding Misa, who was hyperventilating.

"Misa, Naomi, Kiyomi, and Raye."

Misa seemed to calm down at the prospect of having Naomi Misora and Raye Penber in her group but not so much Kiyomi Takada. Had Mr. Sidoh lost his mind? Everyone, even the teachers knew better than to pair up Misa and Kiyomi.

Without fail in the past years, Takada had stolen Misa's boyfriends, embarrassed her, harassed her, and even gone as far as to spread rumors that Misa was sleeping with the teachers, which is completely untrue, I should know, Misa tells me everything. The fights between them were even more legendary than some of Mello's and often more violent because they weren't afraid to get dirty. Which was rather hypocritical because Misa complained about taking a shower after.

When everyone had been put into groups, Mr. Sidoh told us to gather with our group and work out a meeting schedule because we wouldn't be working on the project in the class.

Rather than go over to L and Light, who'd already gotten together, I ran over to Misa. She was on the verge of tears but her knuckles were white and she looked as if she'd snap her pen in a moment.

"Misa can't do this Kat." She said. The steely whisper seemed foreign coming from Misa's mouth.

"You can do it Misa. Know why?" Misa unclenched her hand and turned to me. "You're the strongest girl I know. You're strong and determined and you're a good person. You can do it, now wish me luck because I have B and L and Light." I muster a smile which seems to work because Misa's face is overrun by happiness.

"Thank you Kat!" Being suffocated by a hug wouldn't be that bad of a way to die.

"Hey! Thatcher! Come on!"

"I know you don't like him Kat, but he's really cute." Misa said with a dreamy smile before scampering off to her group. Sighing, I suck up my feelings, make sure my hair is hiding my earbud wire and join my group. Beyond is glaring at Light who is watching me with a cocky expression, L is stacking pencils and erasers on his desk.

"You have to take this project seriously, I'm sure Amane could have handled herself perfectly fine." I glared at Light.

"Listen Yagami. I don't like you and I don't want to be in this group. But seeing as I have to, I expect you to suck it up and deal with my loyalty to my friends. Though I wouldn't expect you to know anything about Loyalty." Light was taller than me so it was hard to look menacing but I seemed to make it work.

"You little-"

"Light, I think it would be in everyones' best interest to stop fighting and work out our schedule because the class will be over in four minutes and twenty seconds." We all turned to look at L and we seemed to have a concurrent thought: shut up and sit down.

I fell into a seat beside Beyond and crossed my arms, slightly choking myself because I was wearing a few different necklaces. But I sucked it up and dealt with it.

We settled on meeting two hours after school, rotating houses, and then on the weekends for a few hours. Apparently, we were supposed to simply hang out but I couldn't picture that happening given past problems.

For starters, L and Light had been competing ever since the first grade when they met and were put in the same class. They have a history of heated competitions, Light would win some, L would win some, most ended in ties because the teacher's would break them up before they could finish. Then you add in Beyond's past crush on L _and_ Light. Then there was a competition a few years ago.

My parents had made me enter and I had shown up Light and come in second below L. Light had gotten mad. In a fit of childish inferiority, much like Mello, he'd challenged me to an athletic competition. Knowing that I couldn't lose because my parent's were present and if I failed, I would no doubt feel it later, I had won. The match was a simple race. A simple race with complex obstacles. It was hard and I slept the rest of the day away but I had won. I had won with scraped up legs and a cut on my cheek, my hair had fallen out of it's complex tie and I was drenched with sweat.

Light had been pissed beyond belief. He'd stalked off, ruining his pretty boy image that he had worked for so hard. He and Beyond had gotten in a fight a few days after and both had ended up in the hospital. I had payed the hospital bills for two reasons. One to make sure Beyond was okay and two, to make a silent pact with Light.

That pact had been broken so many times over the years that if I didn't know that Light had a perfect memory I would have thought he'd forgotten.

_Work It_  
_Make It_  
_Do It_  
_Makes Us_  
_Harder_  
_Better_  
_Faster_  
_Stronger_  
_More Than_  
_Hour_  
_Our_  
_Never_  
_Ever_  
_After_  
_Work is_  
_Over_

The one Daft Punk song on my IPod started playing. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. The four of us were pretty evenly matched.

This was going to be fun.

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So here's chapter three. Make sure to tell me what you think!

~feather-ink


	4. Chapter 4

The fourth installment has arrived!

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"Bye Kat! Bye Beyond!" Misa waved, walking away. Her group was meeting right after school so she was going to Naomi Misora's house. B and I saluted before heading over to where we parked our bikes.

"You think Misa'll be alright?" I ask, my helmet half way on.

"She'll be fine, she got her nails done right? Those weird fake nails."

"Acrylics?"

"Yeah, she'll gauge Kiyomi's eyes out if something comes up." B laughed his odd little laugh before pulling his own helmet on.

"That's not very comforting." B rolls his eyes and we go to my house. We were supposed to meet at Light's today, L's tomorrow, mine then B's.

Minutes later, we pulled up in front of my house.

"I'm going to run upstairs real quick alright?" B nodded and pulled out his after school on the way home jar of jam and began eating. My house was oddly silent, but then again, it was only the main floor.

"Minnie?" Minnie was our head maid, a nice lady, probably in her mid thirties with blond hair and pretty green eyes.

"Oh, Miss you're home, welcome."

"Don't call me Miss, Minnie, call me Kat." I smile. I liked most of our help, they were nice people.

"Very well Kat, is there something you wanted?"

"Where's Mother and Father?" I slipped off my shoes, struggling with the laces.

"The Mistress is out for tea with some of her friends and the Master has not come out of his study since you left this morning." Minnie wrung her hands.

"Damn." I whisper, receiving a sharp look from the woman. "I'll pick up the glass tonight alright? When Mother comes back, will you tell her I'm doing a project at a...colleague's house." It was the best I could come up with.

"Which colleague if I may ask?"

"Light Yagami." Minnie nods her assurance as I run upstairs. My door is still locked and I remove my key from it's hiding spot. Mother has small flower tables up and down the halls and they are made from cubic tiles to form a sort of abstract vase. I twisted the face of one of the cubes and took my key from inside.

I breathed in the smell from my room, honey with a faint underlying smell of leather. Before you get any ideas, I do leatherworking, bags and bracelets and things like that so no, I'm not like Mello.

My laptop was under a pillow on my window seat and the carrier was hanging somewhere in my closet. After grabbing it and stuffing it in my backpack I open my mini fridge and grab a few extra jars of jam for Beyond and a pack of Oreos for myself. As quick as I'd come I was back on my bike waiting for Beyond to finish his current jar.

We went to Beyond's house, after all, we weren't due at Light's for another hour and ten minutes, and we had homework.

"Dad! We're home!"

"Hi Mr. Birthday!"

We ran upstairs and B locked his bedroom door behind us. Beyond's room was certainly something. Contrary to popular belief, it was quite clean. His bed was in front of the window and it was black, at the foot, was an old chest. Inside were, well, I'm under contract and blood pact, not to say anything. Anyways, he had a bookshelf that was positively overflowing with anatomy books. Beyond had sort of a...fascination with that subject.

It's why all the people he got into fights with ended up in the hospital, it's also why he ended up in Juvie for a while.

His hard wood floor was covered by black red and white rugs. His closet was open, showing the chaotic mess inside and I had to laugh as he hurriedly shoved the doors closed. Posters and drawings as well as diagrams were taped up all over his wall. He dropped his backpack on his bed and I tossed him the jam I brought.

"Jam first-"

"-Work later." I laugh. "I know Beyond, I know." While B enjoyed his ruby food, I opened my Oreos, occasionally throwing some at him.

When he finished he finally pulled out his homework and clambered onto the floor, crouching down.

"I've known you for about a decade and I still don't understand how you can stand to be in that position for that long." He had adopted the pose from L and had told me that it worked, something about increasing his reasoning ability by 40%. I didn't get it and it gave me chills because when he did that, he looked more like L.

Beyond had always sort of looked like L. Pale as hell complexion with inky black hair and similar physique. If I messed up his hair and gave him color contacts, he would look exactly like L. It was weird but I took great love in all the little differences. His eyes for one, the natural garnet color. The shape of his face, the angular body that wasn't as sharp as L's. How he expressed his emotions openly. His insane love of jam.

"Kat!" I felt something hit my face and I snapped to attention.

"You threw an Oreo at me." I say, needing to say _something_.

"Yeah, and you zoned out." He raised an eyebrow, chewing on the eraser of his pencil.

"Maybe I did." I begin writing again but this time Beyond has stopped. He's looking at me funny. "What is it?"

"You are okay aren't you. You aren't going to lie to me." It wasn't a question. I can't lie, not to Beyond. I'm one hell of an actor but when it comes to Beyond, and Misa for that matter, I just can't do it. This time I was only thinking about him and L. But it wasn't always that simple.

"No, I'm not alright." Beyond takes a moment to stack up our homework then pulls me up and sits me on his bed.

"What's up?" I almost laughed. When we were younger and I snuck over here whenever I was having issues, Beyond used to make me laugh by putting on a pair of glasses and playing therapist, using a notebook to write down his bogus diagnosis.

"Not sleeping well. If I even sleep at all." Now, Beyond just listens, he doesn't prescribe remedies like eat seven jelly beans every other day for a week and you should feel better. Now he just listens and it's enough.

"How long?"

"A few weeks."

"Is it your parents?" My silence is enough confirmation. "Your dad's drinking again isn't he?"

I broke again.

"Why? I've done everything they asked. I've held up my image around their friends and at school when it counts. I'm just not good enough. I'm not pretty enough for mother, not smart enough for father. They aren't happy with my grades. Mother says I need to lose weight. Father says I'm ruining their social status. What the Hell does that even mean! It's the twenty first century! No one cares about that shit anymore! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. They'd love to see you and Misa gone but I'm not doing that! You're my friends and you guys are the only ones that have been there for me but I don't know why. How can you put up with me!? I mean, I'm a mess all the time, I can't keep my anger in check but then I get on you about it, and Misa could be friends with anyone and she chose me and you. But how- why-" Gods, I was crying. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry, I had promised so many times.

"Kat." I scrubbed at my eyes, willing the tears to go away. "We gotta go to Light's." Beyond knows better than to try and comfort me, he knows, past happenings made sure of it but sometimes I wish he would try one more time. But what am I saying? I'm being selfish.

"Yeah, let's go." One last swipe to my eyes and I grabbed my bag, carelessly stuffing my work into a folder before shoving it into my bag as B did the same, if a little more orderly. We were on our motorcycles within the minute with a quick goodbye to Beyond's dad.

Light Yagami had built up a perfect record since he was little. His father was head of the police force and he had been a golden boy. The perfect son, perfect brother, student, boyfriend a more than perfect liar and an even better actor. Misa had fallen hopelessly in love with him, so did Kiyomi and every other girl in the school, I wouldn't be surprised if he even had a few boys after him, after all, Beyond used to like him.

That was actually the main reason I didn't like Light. Beyond had secretly gone out with him for a little while, the whole time Light had been dating a girl. Light had then cruelly crushed Beyond, told him he was worthless homosexual, Beyond's actually bi, and over all, broke my friend. Light had never let him live it down but he had to do it when no one was looking because he was after all, perfect.

"Let's hope we survive these months." I hold my arm out, waiting for B to clasp my forearm.

"Let's hope neither you, Misa or myself, end up in the hospital or suspended." He says.

"Let's hope to keep our sanity-"

"And drive them up the wall." I smile and we let go, parking our bikes.

"Do you wanna' knock or should I?" I ask, fiddling with my sleeve. Beyond knocks on the door.

"Hello Mrs. Yagami!"

* * *

So here's chapter four. I realize that I didn't put this up in the beginning but no one really reads the disclaimers anyhow. But here goes: I do not own, nor claim to own anyone, anything or any part of or pertaining to Death Note. The only thing I do own is the character of Kat her parents and any other characters not mentioned in the Death Note series.

Alright, that's that so thanks for reading!

~feather-ink


	5. Chapter 5

Next installment. It's only 10:17pm as I'm working on this but honest to God, I am so tired. yet I'm working on this so wish me luck and I hope you enjoy this.

P.S. this chapter contains a flash back that may or may not be disturbing. It doesn't show anything but hints at it. So just had to put that in there.

* * *

Light's mother answered the door.

"You must be Kala and Beyond. Welcome, come in, come in." Mrs. Yagami was a nice woman, small in stature and good natured. Stepping into the home I was shocked into the normality of it all. It seemed more like a stage set up than an actual living room. Everything was perfect, and I thought my house was bad.

Sayu Yagami was sitting on the couch watching some sort of T.V. drama.

"Hey Kat!" I waved to the younger girl. I had tutored her while Light was off on some student exchange program/competition or whatever it was. I wrestled my boots off, almost falling into Beyond before actually saying hi to the kid.

"Hello Sayu." The girl nodded before turning her rapt attention to the T.V. I noticed a pair of ratty sneakers by the door. "Is L here all ready?"

"Hm? Oh, Yes, L and Light are upstairs playing chess I believe. Just go right on up." Beyond and I share a look before walking up the stairs. Light's room was silent but we walked in anyways. True to Mrs. Yagami's word, the two were playing chess. L was crouched in a chair while Light was leaning back, an expression of concentration that seemed out of place on his face. Not knowing what else to do, Beyond and I watched the game and placed bets.

It ended in Light's defeat.

Beyond whistled appreciatively. "Damn." I chuckled lightly. "Cough it up B." Grudgingly, B forked over five black sheets of paper from his wallet. Since neither of us ever bet with money, we had a sort of coupon currency. Beyond had black slips and I had red ones. Oreos and Jam Jars. Make sense? Good.

"There's no need to swear Kala." L said. I felt my fist clench. Remember how I said I hated my name? Here's why.

Mother thought that Kala Adrienne Thatcher sounded pretty. Well, Kala meant 'dark' and Adrienne meant 'the dark one', Thatcher was just my last name. Well over all my name was a doubled up 'dark one'. Creepy, medieval, and overall, black as pitch soul. It was a horrible name. Only Beyond, knew though I suspected that some other people probably knew the meaning.

"First things first. If we're going to work together, please don't call me Kala. Just call me Kat." I say, forcing my first name past my lips.

"Is it alright if I ask why?" L asked.

"No." There was an awkward silence after until Light cleared his throat.

"Well, I suggest we just ask each other some questions to ease the tension. I already typed up some sheets for everyone." Light passed out some paper to everyone.

"This is supposed to ease the tension?" I mumble, looking over the questions. "Hey, uh, Light, quick question."

"Yes Kala?" Clenching my teeth and promising to drag Beyond to the gym later.

"Why does this look like a psychology test?" The questions were deep, like something a therapist would ask.

"It's so we can understand each other better." he said, not batting an eye.

"Okay, well how about this." Folding the paper into an airplane, it sails into the garbage bin. "Beyond, my dearest friend. What's your favorite color?"

"Red."

"Why?"

"See Light, you can now understand why B likes the color red instead of picking his brain apart."

"Kala, I understand your reasoning and I agree with you but Light has gone to the trouble of making these question sheets for us so I think it would be polite to use them." I roll my eyes as L sends my airplane back to me.

"Let the brain picking begin." I mumble.

* * *

"I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not going to last through these months." I snagged my helmet. Beyond was chuckling and L was slouched a few yards away waiting for his ride.

"It wasn't so bad Kat." Beyond sang before chuckling. His weird little 'ku ku ku' laughter that sent chills through my spine.

"It was, I don't want to get to know Light Yagami. Granted, it would prove to be interesting. I don't want him getting to know _me_. Do you realize how dangerous that is? You know how I feel about that."

I don't like people knowing me, Misa and Beyond are the exception, people knowing you makes you vulnerable. It was too dangerous for me, me who was vulnerable already to have Light get to know me, because he would exploit those weaknesses. I couldn't lie to them because Beyond already knew me and L would know that I was lying and Light would to.

"You know, Kat it isn't so bad." L ended his silent observation. "It's not bad to let people get to know you."

"That doesn't mean it's good either, especially when the person getting to know you is Light Yagami." Beyond resolved to let me and L talk, watching us while eating his jam.

"And what is so bad about Light?"

"I have my own opinions about him." I set my helmet down, seeing as we'd be here for a while. "Besides, why are you telling me this, you don't let anyone near you besides your brothers."

"Point taken." And we fell into silence again. Eventually, L's grandfather Mr. Wammy pulled up to the curb side and L climbed in. "I will see you two at school tomorrow." Then he was gone.

"Well then Kat, shall we? Some of your clothes and your spare toothbrush are at my place so we can just head over and-"

"I can't stay at your place tonight. Father was drinking again." Beyond sighed.

"Then I'll stay at your place." I nod and slip my helmet on while Beyond calls his father. As soon as we were in the clear we took off.

I opened the garage and parked my bike, hanging my helmet on the hook as Beyond did the same. We got in, using the garage door and I snuck Beyond upstairs.

"Let me just check up on Minnie and Father, and if Mother's home then her to." Beyond flopped himself down on my bed as I closed the door. Two floors up and ten doors into the hallway was Father's study. Pressing my ear to the door I listened and heard nothing but silence and soft shuffling.

"Please god, whatever god is up there whether there be multiple gods, please please please just help me not cry or scream or fight or get hurt. Please god. Amen." I pushed open the door and instinctively ducked. A book flew over my head, sailing into the hallway. Cautiously I looked up again. Bottles littered the floor and Father sat at his desk, feet propped up, suit jacket hanging on the chair behind him, his shoes were untied and his shirt was crumpled, his tie lay on the floor five feet away.

"Kala! Dear! So nice of you to join me!" He laughed before tossing the bottle behind him.

The pieces scattered all over the hardwood floor.

"You grew up so pretty Kala, so very pretty." He slurred, but he wasn't laughing anymore.

"Shut up." The tone was horrible, it was familiar.

"Finally growing a spine are you? That won't do at all." He shakily removed his feet from the desk and propped his elbows up. "Why don't you come sit on Daddy's lap like you used to." The gleam in his eyes was enough to make me puke.

_"Why don't you come sit on Daddy's lap?"_

_"W-why?" It didn't make sense, Daddy never wanted me anywhere near him unless it was at a party function or some of his business friends were over for a drink and he wanted me to recite my facts. _

_"Just come sit on Daddy's lap." I didn't want to. Daddy was sitting on a bed but it wasn't the bed that he shared with Mommy. Daddy brought Business clients into this room. The room that was always locked._

_The one that Mommy didn't know about._

_"No, Daddy, No." I backed up, the gleam in his eyes was scaring me. Daddy stood up and within a few seconds, he grabbed my arm and yanked me. I landed on the floor. Scrambling up, I run for the door again. In my book with predators and prey I remember reading that most cases, the prey is outmatched that is why they are prey. But sometimes, they have one small advantage against the predator that allows them to escape in some situations._

_Think Kala, think! What's your advantage. _

_Size! I was small, I could hide._

_Daddy also seemed to be drunk, he reeked of alcohol, but then again, he always did now. _

_I ran to the closet and used a variety of objects to climb onto the shelf. It was higher than Daddy's head and they only way he could get me down, was to pull down the shelf._

_That's exactly what he did._

The well aimed punch to his temple made him slump and fall off the chair.

"So many god damned demons." I mumbled and begin to pick up the glass. When the broken bottles had been disposed of. I paged Minnie, asking if Mother was back yet.

She wasn't.

Taking a breath and deeming that Beyond could last a little longer alone I go up another flight and down a few more doors.

The door was black with a gold knob. Mother didn't know about it because it was hidden behind a big tapestry. I doubted Mother knew about half the rooms in our house. It was an old house, it belonged to the Thatcher family for generations and had been renovated over twenty times. But the hidden rooms remained just that, hidden.

I set my hand on the door knob.

"No. Not yet."

I made it back to my room. Beyond was sprawled on my floor drawing a picture of a decapitated body, colored and labeled.

"Fighting Demons?" He asked, not looking up from his red crayola crayon.

"How can you tell?" I go to my own closet and pull out some of Beyond's clothes. He left them here from time to time.

"Your steps were quieter, like you were walking through a cemetery." He pulled a blue note card from his back pocket and a black sharpie. "Here." He got up, dusting himself off and walked to my headboard wall. A braided white rope hung in the corner and he tugged it, causing the black curtain to pull up to the ceiling.

Like a giant web, note cards and broken pieces of glass and other material, were strung together. Each square had two things.

A date and a song title.

"What were you thinking for today?" Beyond asked.

I had long since scoured the song databases and I regularly check up on updates.

"The Last Fight by Bullet for My Valentine."

"Fitting." He says and hands me the note card. The paper was put in place, and I took a piece of string, taping it to the last piece I put up. Beyond covers the wall and goes to sit in front of my T.V.

"Come on, I'm sure that Super Smash Bros will take your mind off it." He hands me a controller.

"I call Kirby."

* * *

Alright so, I actually fell asleep while writing this so it's now morning! That just proves how tired I am. I still am. Anyways. I hope you guys enjoyed this, tell me what you think. I know, this chapter kind of showed that Kat is a little messed up but then again, so is Beyond and Light and Mikami and Higuchi and everyone else in the series. So, Thank you for reading.

~feather-ink


	6. Chapter 6

Installment number 6!

* * *

My phone went off in the middle of the brawl.

"Kat! Can Misa-Misa stay at your place tonight?"

"Of course Misa, Beyond's already here."

"I'll hurry over."

"Don't get hurt." Misa had hung up before I finished talking. Beyond laughed as his Ice Climbers hit Kirby.

"Ha. Ha." He said but stopped when Kirby won the match. "Stupid."

"Oh lighten up Beyond. Misa's on her way."

"Why is she staying?"

"Who knows, probably has to do with Kiyomi." Minutes later, Minnie pages up to my room and a few seconds after that Misa practically busts my door down. I pause the game and take in Misa's appearance.

The blond was a mess to say the least. Her dress was ripped in some places and her shoes were scuffed and unlaced. Her makeup was running down her face and there was a cut on her cheek, she was missing a crucifix necklace and her blond hair was no longer up in pigtails and it was knotted up and ratted.

"Misa, what happened?" Misa collapses on the floor. Beyond and I leap off the couch, rushing to her side. "Misa!"

"Sorry Kat, I'm just- just tired."

"Did she just die?" Beyond asked as Misa stopped talking and closed her eyes.

"Don't even say that. No she just, she just passed out." I rocked back onto my feet and ran to my bathroom, rummaging through the cabinets. I returned to Misa and Beyond with band aids, antiseptic, and bandage for her ankle, it seemed swollen.

"Do you want me to set her wrist?" Beyond asked.

"Yeah, just let me grab a brace."

Over the years we'd learned first aid. With my funds, Beyond's expertise and Misa's care, we got pretty good. We had to learn because, for one, my parents couldn't know, two, Misa didn't like hospitals and three because...well, we didn't have a third reason.

Once Misa was all cleaned up and bandaged, I got her dressed in a spare set of pajamas before having Beyond set her on my bed.

"How many fights are going to break out today?" I snag a pillow to muffle my scream. When my head is out of the pillow I see Beyond smirking.

"Just go to sleep Kat." He says. Getting his own Pillow and pulling a blanket from my closet. My insomniac friend pulled out the trundle bed from underneath my actual bed, fluffed a pillow and curled up into a fetal posistion. He was passed out within minutes.

Beyond had trouble sleeping, hence his insomniac title, so he mixed melatonin in with his jam. I think it was pretty genius and he never seemed to have any side effects. But then again, Beyond was odd so if he was experiencing side effects, we probably wouldn't notice.

"Good night Beyond." I smiled.

My balcony had only two pieces of furniture. A small table and an old rocker. The rocker belonged to my great grandmother, it was worn and it creaked when it moved but it smelled like her and it was comfortable. My great grandmother died at the age of ninety nine, almost one hundred, one day before her birthday.

She was a nice lady, kind face with a twinkle in her eyes that never seemed to die until she did. She got really sick, her body wasted away, slowly failing and she died in pain. It was a horrible thing to watch. I always went to the hospital to see her, Beyond and Misa went with me. We brought her fruit smoothies that we made ourselves. We had to stop though, the doctors told us we weren't allowed to bring her the smoothies but she always told us to sneak some in for her.

I smile at the memory, looking at the stars that had finally decided to come out. She taught me the constellations, the stories behind them and about the ones she made herself.

I snuggled deeper into the blanket I brought with me. My phone vibrated in my lap, there was no name.

"Hello?"

"Have I successfully reached Kala Thatcher?"

"L? How the Hell'd you get my number?"

"I simple broke into the school database."

"Makes sense I suppose. Why are you calling?"

"You left something at Light's house, I accidently put it in my backpack and I have only just realized that I have it with me." Accidently my ass. "I figured you'd still be up at this time, yourself and Beyond are both insomniacs, correct?"

"Yeah, what'd I leave?"

"A blue folder with a DC sticker on the left corner, it's full of-"

"You looked at the contents?"

"Yes."

"Damn it L!"

"You really should stop swearing." I growled into the phone. "Would you like me to come and drop it off?"

"Yes." Screw what time it was, he was an insomniac to so it's not costing him any sleep. He knew my address, we exchanged addresses at school.

"I will be there shortly." The call ended, leaving a dull ring coming from my phone.

How did my folder fall out of my backpack, it couldn't have, it was zipped up in a back pocket. There was absolutely no way that it could have fallen. Only Beyond, Misa and myself knew that that folder even existed. Did L take it from my backpack? How could he have, I had it by me the whole time, didn't I? Besides, why would L go through my backpack? Unless L didn't take it out, maybe it was Light, maybe L saw him and took it from him. Maybe this was Beyond's idea of a joke. But that wasn't right either because Beyond knew what that folder meant to me and there was no way in Heaven or Hell that he would do something that sick.

But there had to be an explanation. It didn't make sense, it was in it's own pocket, it was zipped up in my backpack, I didn't part with it-

He must have taken it while we were at school!

I had put my backpack under the desk, the folder had been poking out at the time. I never checked if it was still there, I just shoved everything in my bag and left. But, why _would _L take it? There was nothing of value to anyone but me in there. Was he just curious, L wasn't notorious for stealing things.

I pulled the ladder out from my closet and set it over the edge of my balcony, quickly scaling down. I waited by the front door for a few minutes before the well known limo pulled up. But remarkably, it wasn't Mr. Wammy driving it. Judging from the loud music, I would say that it was Mello, who, I don't believe, even has his license. L climbed out of the passenger side carrying my folder.

"Here you are Kala." I hold back the cringe that seems almost accustomed to the sound of my name. The folder seems cold for some reason, it must be L's hands, who knows. I cradle the folder in my arms, resisting the urge to give L a dirty look and think against it.

"Thank you for it's safe return."

"You're welcome." Without another word, L climbs back into the limo. Tires squealing, it takes off. Scoffing to the empty air, I rescale the ladder and hoist myself onto the balcony. Beyond and Misa were still asleep, the soft snores from each of them were sort of reassuring in a way.

I slipped the folder on my bedside table, promising to return for it after a quick kitchen raid.

The kitchen is quiet and it makes the microwave seem unnaturally loud. After taking the mug from the microwave I rummage in the pantry for the mix.

Three spoonfuls of chocolate mix, a small amount of creamer, that's all it was. Misa made me the mug in a pottery class she took. It was lopsided, the handle was unstable but it was my hot chocolate mug, the one Beyond made was for coffee. They were both really...unique looking mugs but they had sentimental value.

With my hot drink in hand, I climb the stairs again, stumbling on the fifth to last step but successfully managing to not spill anything.

"Kala, is that you?"

"Mother?"

"You look horrible, those clothes dear, they make you look...awful." Self consciously, I look at my pajamas. It was a white tank top with an off shoulder blue shirt and black basketball shorts, I thought they looked good, they were comfortable. "Oh Dear, and your drinking that sugary drink, go dump it in the sink, you'll get fat." Fat!? Fat? I was fourteen pounds under weight!

"Mother, when did you get home?"

"A few hours ago."

"Did you have anything to drink?" I lean on the stair rail, sipping my drink.

"Oh, no of course not." Of course she did.

"I'm going to bed, good night mother." I brush past her and make it a few feet down the hall before she spoke again.

"Hey Kala?" I almost fell, the gentle tone of her voice was completely foreign.

"Yeah mom?"

"Your hair looks dull and limp, you should get it done by a professional, because honest to god it looks horrendous."

"Whatever." I fished my IPod from my pocket and slipped an earbud in. Theory of a Deadman's Not Meant to Be started halfway through the song. I made it back to my room, uninterrupted. I snagged my folder and carried it along with my drink back to the balcony.

I flicked open the cover and thumbed through everything. I was mid-sip when I saw it.

A red candy wrapper, paperclipped to one of the papers. The words on the wrapper were written in black sharpie marker.

_Kala,_

_These lyrics are quite good. I find myself impressed._

_~L_

* * *

And so, good people reading this story, I have finished this installment. I hope you all enjoyed it, I'm sorry if this chapter was kind of slow, it was sort of a filler. Anyways, tell me what you think.

~feather-ink


	7. Chapter 7

Seventh Installment, hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

"Hey, Kat?"

"Where'd she go Beyond?"

"I don't know."

I can faintly hear Beyond and Misa from my room. Has the sun risen already? Yeah, it seems that it has.

"Beyond! She's on the balcony." I can hear the door slide open and the shuffle of their feet.

"Kat, did you stay out here all night?"

"Ngh! Kat, your eyes are all bloodshot, you didn't sleep did you?" Did I? I don't think I did. "Beyond! She's not listening." Beyond shuffles away, at least I think he does. "Beyond!" A split second before it happens I get out of the chair, successfully avoiding a drench. Beyond chuckled and Misa just stared.

"You didn't sleep, did you?"

"I don't think so." I brushed past them, mumbling about first dibs on the shower.

I didn't seem to notice that the water was cold until I tried washing my hair and found my hands were shaking. However, I didn't change the water temperature. When I felt ready to pass out from the numbness in my body, I finally stepped out of the shower, turning off the water and wrapping myself in a white towel.

Misa must have come in with my clothes because a pair of black jeans, a white panda t-shirt, a red and grey checked long sleeve, a few jean chains and a pair of purple socks, sat on the counter. Quickly dressing I throw my hair into a towel and leave the bathroom. Misa rushed in and soon we heard her humming above the pattering of the shower.

I begin to run a brush through my hair but the knots get the better of me and I can't keep my hand straight.

"Let me do it." Beyond's hands appear in my line of sight and he takes the brush out of my hands. "Your shirt's on backwards."

"I'll fix it in a minute."

"Alright." Beyond somehow manages to untangle my hair and hands me a rubber band. Not willing to spend anymore time than necessary on my bi colored hair, it simply get's thrown into a ponytail. I continue to sit on my bed, staring at my hands.

"Your shirt is still backwards."

"Right."

"Kat? Can I ask you a question?" Beyond gets off my bed, shuffling to my closet and sorting through the hangers before finding the clothes he needed.

"Shoot."

"Why are you all zombie this morning?"

"L took my folder, he looked at the lyrics inside. He wrote a note, said he was impressed."

"Does that bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"The fact that he was impressed." Beyond pulls on a pair of baggy blue jeans.

"It's not that. It's the fact that he looked at them, he read them." I pick at the leather strap on one of my bracelets. I made it when I was younger, I'd just learned how to leather work and I was hammering in a stencil and ended up with a blood blister.

"But I've read them, I helped you write some of them, that doesn't bother you?" He's shirtless when he walks over to my side, debating between a black long sleeve and a blue short sleeve with a jacket.

"It's not the same, I trust you and I know you and _you_ didn't steal my notebook." He pulls on the long sleeve and begins to hunt for his shoes, crawling on the floor on all fours.

"So, it bothers you because you don't _trust_ L, you don't _know_ L and he _stole_ your notebook?"

"That about sums it up." Beyond begins to tie his shoes, the back of his shirt sliding up, revealing the curved cut on his lower back.

His Family had gone on vacation and I had gone with them, Beyond had thought it would be a good idea to go for a night swim. We'd gone out with only the moonlight and Beyond got cut on the reef, I got off with only scraped up ankles and hands but it was a good memory.

By the time the three of us were ready, my parents were up. Panicking, I shoved them all to the balcony where the ladder still sat, propped up against the wall. Misa put up a bit of a fuss but conceded. The garage was open, and I thought nothing of it because after a quick look, absolutely nothing was missing.

We had to stop at the local supermarket so Beyond could get some jam and from there we rode to the school. It was the same routine as any other day but The Terrible Twosome seemed to stay back today. Misa ran off to greet one of her old friends, a goth girl named Rem who may or may not have a crush on Misa. Rem was nice, a little odd but still nice. Mr. Ryuk and Mr. Sidoh were actually her uncles but you wouldn't be able to tell.

That left Beyond and Myself to roam the halls until the bell rang. The day passed until it was time for Mr. Sidoh's class. Light and L already had their desks pushed together. On the board was a note.

_Class;_

_Today you will get together with your group and continue getting to know each other, I understand that I said you would not be working on your project in this class and you won't, after today._

_Mr Sidoh._

"Rem said that Mr. Sidoh got sick today." Misa said, taking her seat with her group.

"Goody." I say sarcastically, double checking my backpack, making sure my folder wasn't sticking out.

"Beyond, Kala, we were just talking about you two." Light said, casually singing his arm over the back of the chair.

"Were you now?" Beyond asked. Light simply nodded and adjusted his pose.

What does Misa see in him anyhow? Sure, I'll admit that he seemed the perfect image of godliness, but looks aren't everything. He is a liar and cruel, and manipulative. He looks at everyone like he's above them, like he's a god. I hated it, I still hate it, hate how he acts, who he's become. Light used to be a good kid, I remember seeing him at the park and at the bookshop and at little social gatherings. He was a nice little kid, kind and he always shared but one thing seemed to click in his head that changed him.

He realized that he could use his god given mind and looks to get whatever he wanted. He found out he could get everyone under his thumb with a simple look or a few words. He used his charm and his intellect to his own advantage. Not only that, but he managed to scale the social ladder faster than most of the people my parents know. It was unbelievable.

He used to date a lot of girls, all at one time. But no one seemed to get mad at him when he broke up with one of them to keep the others off his back, everyone dismissed it. After all.

Light Yagami could do know wrong.

"Earth to Kat!" My face fell forward onto the desk, slamming into the hard surface.

"What the Hell B!" Forgetting protocol, I kick his seat out from under him.

"Same to you!" Beyond lunges, tackling me out of my seat. The desks and chairs seem to move on their own as we tumble. Beyond gets a good grip on my hair but I have my legs around his waist. Heaving upwards, I manage to get on top of him but it lasts only a moment because we both start laughing. I fall off of Beyond who scampers up, helping me to my feet.

"Alright everyone that's enough excitement, go back to your own group, nosy bitches." Beyond says, pulling up his own chair and sitting down as if nothing happened. Light is staring at us in an appalling manner while L is simply hiding a smile. I begin fixing my bangs over my eyes again, readjusting my hair and clothes before propping my head up on my hands.

"Light? Something wrong? Your face is all..." I trail off, noticing Beyond's smirk.

"Yes Kala, something is wrong. That behavior was absolutely appalling. Fighting in a classroom and-"

"Well, would you rather us go fight outside? There's more room."

"And it's a little softer, easier to wrestle that way, no one ends up with a cracked skull, oozing blood all over the grass and cement." Beyond makes a bubbling motion with his hands and I smack him for getting that gleam in his eyes. Speaking of eyes, Light's were twitching and his face looked frozen.

"Earth to Light. Hey, Beyond, smack his head into the table like you did mine." I nudge Beyond but Light seems to snap out of it.

"I can't take it, I'm asking Mr. Sidoh for a partner change." Light said, massaging his temples.

"I'm afraid that's not possible Light." L piped up. "It says in our assignment detail that once the groups have been picked, they cannot be altered."

"Well, fuck the assignment detail." Light whispers, loud enough for only us to hear. It wouldn't do for anyone else to hear him swear. I can't hold back the chuckle bubbling in my throat, and it seems that Beyond can't either. We both end up laughing, falling against each other, trying to get a grip.

"May I ask what's so funny?" Light says, by the tone, he's speaking through clenched teeth.

"Of course." I breathe, getting control of myself and cooling down.

"Well are you going to answer?"

"No." Light makes a show of calming himself down, taking unnecessarily big breaths and moving his hands for effect.

"Well then, we should start getting to know each other, we've wasted enough time already."

"But, Light, I don't think you understand, we've been getting to know each other this whole time." L says, shifting his position, tucking his knees tighter. "For instance, Kala and Beyond fight all the time, judging by how they were, they've done it a long time, but they won't fight seriously with each other. Kala is slightly self conscious while Beyond doesn't care what people think of him. Kala obviously has a natural born sarcastic wit and she's noticed that you are annoyed by that so she uses it to her advantage."

We all seem to just stop and stare at L as he pulls out a small candy package.

"Oh, Kala, one more thing?"

"What?"

"Your shirt, it's on backwards."

* * *

So here it is! Tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!

~feather-ink


	8. Chapter 8

Here it is! Sorry for the late update, I've been getting killer headaches lately, kind of hard to stare at a computer screen. Anyways, read on!

* * *

I stepped through the door to my house, mother had some things for me to do so I couldn't hang out with Beyond and Misa, we did however have to go to L's later today for our project. I think L may have grasped the concept of the assignment, with his observations. I heard that the Student Unification Club started the assignment. Apparently one of the girl's mother was on the school board and they all thought it would be a great idea.

"Mother! I'm bac-" The scent hit my nose and I doubled over coughing. The whole house smelled like a mixture between smoke and mint leaves.

"Oh, Kala, good your back, let's go."

"Why does the house smell like-"

"It's not important, come, to the car." She snagged my arm and dragged me to the car, quite literally throwing me in before Malcolm started the limo. I sat in my seat trying to sit up properly. Out of habit I began fixing my hair, I had barely taken off my helmet, I still had my backpack on and my shoe lace was untied.

"You actually wore that to school?!" Mother screeched. I took a moment to look at her business suit that was formal yet fashionable in a way that only suits could pull off.

"Yes." I mutter, crossing my arms moodily over my stomach.

"Ugh, just look at you! Your hair is out of place, your makeup is dull. You're wearing too many bracelets and it's quite obvious you didn't sleep. You need to stop eating so much, your cheeks look chubby." This was all said in a matter of seconds. I ignore her, once she looked away I touched my face, feeling my cheek and jaw bone. It wasn't chubby, was it? I thought it was hollow, but...whatever, it wasn't worth my time to address.

"How long is this going to take?"

"Why?"

"I have a study group I have to go to with Beyond, L and Light."

"Light Yagami?"'

"Yes." Mother didn't say anything else and contented herself with scrolling through her phone.

"We have a party this Saturday, at the McMiller's house then we have to go to tea on Sunday. On Friday, some of our friends will be coming over-" Malcolm stopped the car.

"Oh look, we're here." Mother said and I peered out the window.

Oh dear god, we were at a tailor shop.

Mr. Allan was actually a pretty nice guy, he'd been tailoring clothes for upper class families for who knows how long.

"Oh, Mrs. Thatcher, Kala, good to see you again."

"Hello Mr. Allan." By mother's hand, I'm practically shoved onto the podium while she rattles off what she needs to Mr. Allan. Apparently, I'm here to get new dresses for the party on Saturday and for the tea on Sunday. I didn't want to go but I knew what would happen if I said no. I had absolutely no say in the matter so I endured the pain of holding still for about an hour, and after getting jabbed with pins and choked with measuring tape, I was allowed to step down. Mother called Malcolm in, he was carrying a box of perfectly folded clothes that needed to be altered.

I hope Mother pays Mr. Allan well for all this.

"This will all be ready by Friday, I presume." Mother said as we walked out the door.

"Yes, ma'am of course it will." Maybe he had an army of tailors in the back room, I really hoped he had an army of tailors.

"Malcolm, to the Wammy estate." Mother ordered, going back to her phone, reorganizing her social calendar and mumbling under her breath about women in the social pool that needed to get lost.

Besides, what century did she think we lived in? No one cared about crap like that.

Beyond's motorcycle was parked in front of the estate.

"Bye mother, Malcolm." Stumbling out of the car I make it to the front door. Before I could knock however, the door opens revealing Near.

"They're all upstairs. I'll lead you there." Near waves me in and waits patiently while I take my shoes off then walks in front of me. One floor up and he knocks on a door before entering. "L, Kala's here." Then he leaves. Out of all the Wammy brothers, Near was definitely the strangest, don't get me wrong, they were all strange.

"You're so mean Kat, leaving me here to suffer like this." Beyond says, he's lounging in an office chair, a small ways away, Light and L are seated at a small table and just like the first time, they were playing chess.

"Well you could have just waited for me." I mumbled, sitting on his lap, not willing to disturb the other two. Again, like the first time, L won but it seemed that if he hadn't made that exact move, Light would could have taken him out, they were both left with only a few pieces anyway.

"We didn't want to start without you." L said as he reset the chess board.

"How nice." I mumble, dropping my backpack to my side and shifting, Beyond's legs were bony.

"So, the Misters Genius, what do you suppose we do now?" Beyond asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his head on my back. To anyone who didn't know us it would probably look like a boyfriend and girlfriend posistion but that wasn't it. Beyond and I weren't dating, we were just close. I suppose Beyond had a headache, he didn't eat as much jam as he normally did at school.

"I honestly have no idea, I think, what we are supposed to be doing can't be forced, what do you say we all go out for coffee?" L suggested.

"Yes, finally, a good idea, let's go for coffee." I hadn't had my caffeine fix all day. Light seemed to agree and Beyond nodded, scrunching up my shirt and we all stood.

We opted to walk, Beyond and I with arms linked, walking behind L and Light. I could almost see the wheels in all three of their heads turning. It reminded me of the difference between Me and Beyond and L and Light. While L and Light acted like genius, while they openly expressed their intellect, Beyond and I kept ours hidden, we didn't see a need to show off how smart we were. We definitely didn't act like geniuses but it was there. Beyond's calculating actions. I was book smart but my real skill, it was the same as Beyond's, it lied in People.

I could push someone right up to the breaking and then stop, I could read people, calculate people, analyze people, Hell, I could even manipulate someone if I wanted to. Beyond was able to mimic anyone, he picked up on small habits that most people missed, his focus was on the physical aspect of things while my focus was set on the emotional and mental.

Once we'd gotten our drinks we sat outside on an umbrella covered table. L seemed to analyze us as we drank, he had noted our choices when we arrived, what was he calculating.

We sit in silence, sipping our drinks. Out of habit, I smooth out my shirt and in that time, Beyond stole a few sips of my drink.

"You could have just asked." I mumbled, stealing a drink of his. As L had thought, it was a strawberry smoothie rather than coffee. The barista had kind of freaked out when we all walked in and she'd freaked out even more when she saw how much sugar and cream L had collected for his drink. He was still dumping sugar packets in. Light was drinking some weird soy latte or whatever the heck it was.

"Yours tastes weird, to much carmel." Beyond says, taking another sip.

"Yeah right, you can never have too much carmel."

"You two seem very friendly with each other." L says softly.

"You two are going to get mono." Light states before I can even acknowledge what L said.

"I find that hard to believe." I say, trading my drink for Beyond's. "We've been sharing our drinks since we met, Misa as well. Nothing's happened."

"And how long have you known each other?" L asks, stirring his watered down sugar.

"Since...what was it? Kindergarten?" Beyond took his drink back, licking whip cream from his lips.

"Yeah, Kindergarten, but the day before we became friends, I dumped glitter glue on you." He says. It was true. Beyond was a terror in the class. He'd dumped the glitter glue on me, disassembled the teacher's chair, stapled one kid to the back wall by his shirt, cut off Misa's bangs, purposely drew in the books so that the people in them were bleeding from multiple wounds. Long story short, before we became friends, Beyond was a pretty bad kid, he still is but not as much as he was.

"He dumped glue on you?" Light asked, skeptically raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but he did worse to you if memory serves." I say, giving him a sardonic look.

L and Light were in our kindergarten class, shining brilliant students and teacher's pets. Beyond took it upon himself to teach Light a lesson after showing him up in the class test. It was an elaborate trap, a sort of Rube Goldberg Machine.

Beyond had set off the smoke alarm, evacuating the school so he could set up.

Light sat at his desk, opened his backpack, found it full of 'blood' and other rotten smelling things, he stumbled back, over a trip wire which pulled down a ceiling panel, which in turn, dumped a rather large amount of strawberry jam all over him. With the jam in his eyes, we cried out and ran into another trip wire. In the end, Light had set off five trip wires, fallen over fifteen times, got seven different color dyes on himself, wandered into eleven collapsable desks and chairs, he ran into the coat rack and in the very very very end, he ended up in the ventilation system.

"How did you get him in the ventilation system anyways?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets." He said smugly.

"He never wipes his mouth either." I threw a napkin at him as he cleaned the whip cream from his mouth.

"Looks like you didn't get along with Beyond Light-kun." L said, sipping his coffee.

"Well it seems like our meeting is over. We'll be meeting at your house tomorrow correct?" I nod and Light takes his leave. Beyond and I walk home with L, seeing as Beyond's bike was at his house.

"Beyond, Kala?" L speaks up just as Beyond was ready to take off.

"Yeah." I buckle my helmet.

"I do believe we'll all get along soon, don't you?"

* * *

I'm sorry this took so long, I had writer's block in the middle and I just stopped, took a minute to watch some anime and went back to it. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!

~feather-ink


	9. Chapter 9

So here's the next chapter. I apologize for the lateness, I haven't been able to get on the computer lately. Mainly because it's been acting up, this thing is a dinosaur. Anyways, enough chatter, read on.

* * *

My room was silent, it was disturbing in a way that was almost comical. And it probably would have been comical had I not been so paranoid. Mother had the whole house cleaned spotless, gleaming like some bogus utopia. Strip away the shining paint, flowers in the hall and the cleaner and it's the same old house holding bad memories in the wall that step out at night and eat away at my sanity. Groaning into my pillow, I flop onto my stomach, not easily done wearing the outfit that I am currently wearing. Misa had Skype called me in the morning, wanting to try out a new outfit.

It looked cute and I loved it but it was hard to move comfortably, regardless, I wore it for Misa's sake. She'd chosen a pair of green-grey skinny jeans, a white v-neck, army green jean jacket with the sleeves torn off, so it was more of a vest, and gold colored buttons, she'd argued with me until I conceded and let her put the red neck tie on me, she'd then spent who knows how long hooking up all the jean chains in the way she wanted, it was a wonder I didn't get dress coded.

The dull thud of Beyond throwing a bouncy ball at my wall was otherwise the only sound in the silent house. Father was out on business, thank the gods, and mother was in the kitchen, gossiping with the head chef until L and Light arrived.

"Did your mom notice you weren't wearing your color contact?" Beyond asked, not pausing in his rhythmic throwing.

"No, she didn't notice, I brushed my bangs over today."

"You might want to put them in right now, before the other two get here." Beyond says, digging his finger into the ball and slowly ripping it in half down the middle.

"Why?"

"Your mom has that weird habit of smoothing your hair back. They don't know your eyes are two different colors." He tossed the two halves into the pile with the rest of the split bouncy balls.

"I suppose you're right." Heaving myself off my bed, my jean chains clinking as I do so and walk into my bathroom. Quickly washing my hands I hunt around for my color contact.

The contact itself was a pain in the ass but it was a necessary precaution if I didn't want to revert to the Days of Drinking. I was kind of the only one who referred to it as that. Mother called it a little bump in her life and father didn't remember most of it, being drunk as he was. Long story short, if I wore the contacts then it would at least help smooth over all the trouble I cause.

Blinking in an annoyed manner I sit on my bed again. Beyond pulls a clear plastic case from his pocket, inside are a few wire coils and some nails. Why he has it, I don't know but it's amazing the number of things that Beyond can fit in his baggy jean pockets. Using the wire he begins skewering the halves, building...something.

"Kala! L and Light are here!" Mother's voice was shrill and echoed up the staircase.

"Shall we go Beyond?" Quite forcibly, I tug Beyond out my door and down the stairs. Mother's standing by the window, peeking out. The knock sounds and I run to the door before Malcolm or Minnie can get to it and pull it open.

"Oh, Light it is so good to see you again." Mother said, pushing past me to get to the golden child. The details of how my mother and Light know each other are a bit hazy but here's the gist. Because of Light's perfectness, he, and his family, attend minor social parties. Apparently, after mother was done showing me off, she caught sight of Light, who was also impressing the ladies there. They got to talking and just like that, they're on super-tastic terms.

"Hello Mrs. Thatcher." Light said politely.

"Alright, mother, as warming as this is, we have things to do." Closing the door behind them, I make a shooing gesture and usher them up the stairs, Beyond at my side. I can't help but feel like L was analyzing that whole scene, running it through his mental scanner and tucking away the gleaned information for a later date.

Once behind the safety of my door I take a minute to breathe before facing our guests. L is staring at Beyond's creation and Light is surveying my room. I wait for feedback.

"What's behind the curtain?" Light asks.

"Nothing you need to know about, Yagami."

"On a last name basis, how sad." Light says, placing his hand on his heart.

"We were always on a last name basis, don't forget that."

"Well, that aside, your room is certainly impressive." L says, done looking at B's artwork. The floor to ceiling bookshelves, the balcony, window seat, and all the random stuffed animals everywhere. The blue, silver and black color scheme after Misa wanted to redesign my room. She originally wanted me to paint it pink and red and black but the idea was immediately rejected.

"Thank you I suppose." I sit on my bed, Beyond clambering onto the spinny chair. L and Light found their own seats.

"So what do you suppose we do?" Beyond asked, jamming another wire into a purple and white bouncy ball.

"Let's go to the park, I don't want to be in my house." I jump up, jamming my feet into my boots and fixing my vest, tightening my tie.

"Why? Your house is lovely and your mother is nice." Light said.

"The point of this project is to get to know and understand each other, correct?" Collective nods were my response. "Understand this about me. I don't like my family, I will say it openly and I will say it again just in case it didn't register in that pretty little head of yours. I. Do. Not. Like. My. Family." I let that sink in before speaking again, softer. "I expect that to process just fine, please try to understand."

"Well, I don't know about you people but that was entertaining, Kat, L, Light, Let's go to the park." Beyond stood, dusting his hands, getting up, and walking to the door. L shuffled up, Light sort of just sat there.

"Yeah, let's go. I'm sure I can get some snacks from Minnie, if not, we can sneak into the kitchen." I mumbled, slipping my phone into my pocket and holding the door open for everyone. Once we got to the main floor, the kitchen level, L's eyes lit up like a child's. the store of sweets was amazing.

"Go ahead and grab something." I say, poking my head in the fridge, tossing several jars of jam at Beyond. "Light grab something!" I call, taking my food bag off the pantry hook. I tossed it on the island, letting B organize it because if I did, he'd get all prissy and redo it a hundred times over. Beyond went to work, fitting a number of L's candy choices. Light being Light, settled on an apple and a few packages of crackers. After finding a number of water bottles and juice boxes and handing them off to Beyond, who threw his hands up and dumped out the bag again and reorganized it, we left, sneaking out the back door.

"So, Kala, why is it exactly that you don't like your family?" L asks, tearing open a candy bar as we walk.

"That information is not available to the public." I mumble under my breath. Beyond slurps noisily away at his jam and Light watches in mild interest.

"I can respect that I suppose." L says and then we all lapse into silence as we make our way to the park. It's often pretty busy, full of people and screaming kids, but I suppose that today was the exception. It was rather empty, only a few children were swinging and there was one woman sitting on a bench, reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

We found a seat on the grass underneath a tree and settled down. Beyond leaned against the tree and I made my spot, leaning against him as he doled out the snacks from the bag. L takes a minute to slip off his ratty sneakers before sitting in a crouch and Light makes a show of 'cleaning' the grass before awkwardly sitting down.

"Beyond, your stomach is to concave, you're not comfortable anymore." I grumble, shifting so I was on my side and my head rested on his thighs.

"Well, I apologize." he says sarcastically. He went on, eating his jam, licking his fingers before speaking. "So, Light, L, you looking forward to graduation?" I open a pack of skittles staring at the bright little candies before arranging them by color and quantity on my palm.

"Of course." Light says.

"I suppose." L's is working on a piece of taffy, talking around it.

"Any big plans afterwards?" I ask, placing a green skittle in my mouth. Light shook his head, biting into his apple.

"My family is going on a small road trip. It took Mello three hours of begging and promising to land the trip."

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"Chocolate factory for Mello, Lego Land for Near and Matt hasn't made up his mind yet." I nod, sounds fun. But graduation was a few months away. I fell something hit my head. Slowly touching my hair, my fingers come away sticky.

"Beyond Birthday! Damn it." I wipe the glob of jelly from my hair and smear it in his face.

"Relax Kat, it landed in a red streak, you can't tell." He just licks his fingers and smiles.

"_I_ can tell though."

"Here Kala." L slips something from his pocket and throws it towards me. The small Wet Wipes packet lands near my arm.

"Thank you L." I got to work on my hair. The afternoon, and I hate to say this, was quite enjoyable. We talked civilized and Beyond didn't drop anymore Jam on my head, Light didn't make anymore comments and L...was L. We all started walking our own ways to our own houses.

"Bye Kala, Beyond." Light says, walking across the street. I salute sarcastically and Beyond just jams his hands into his pockets.

"See ya L." We call together, starting to walk.

"Goodbye B. Goodbye Kat." He says, smiling.

* * *

Alright so along with my computer acting up, I went to Arizona and was parted from my dear computer so that's a contributing factor to why it took so long. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!

~feather-ink


	10. Chapter 10

So here's the next installment, I hope you enjoy it! Quick Warning: Insinuation of self harm here, doesn't go into detail and the scene is not described but just felt the need to tell you.

* * *

"The last day of the week!" Misa screams. Excited beyond belief because she's going to a fashion show with Rem. She invited me but Beyond and I had to go to his house for our stupid meeting. Misa was lucky, her group only met two days during the school week then once on the weekend. Why couldn't we do that?

We are waiting for Beyond who seems to be taking an unusually long time getting ready this morning. Misa waits by my motorcycle while I walk back into Beyond's house. Climbing the narrow staircase, I knock on Beyond's bedroom door.

"Beyond? You okay?" I push open the door but Beyond isn't in his room. It's empty. My eyes flit around the room, seeing if anything's missing. It's obvious that Beyond is gone but what else. The corner of his blanket is flipped up. It's never flipped up, Beyond is OCD in his own way and the only thing that's under his bed is a First-Aid kit.

"Damn it." I whisper, running from his room to the bathroom down the hall. "Beyond! Open the door."

"I'll be downstairs in a minute Kat." He says, but he says it too quickly. Pulling a bobby pin from my hair, I jam it into the lock and twist it around until I hear the click. "Kat." Beyond sits on the counter, his arm bleeding steadily into a towel, the first aid kit open, teetering on the edge of the sink. His not bleeding hand is covered in blood, the mirror as well, weird little pictures and that little gleam in his eyes is fading.

"Beyond." I take a towel from the linen closet across the hall, return to the bathroom and wet it, placing it on Beyond's arm. "I thought we promised to stop together." Holding the towel in place, I open the First-Aid kit with my free hand, rummaging around for some antiseptic. Beyond is silent as I use my teeth to unscrew the cap to the little brown bottle. Setting the container on the counter, I pick up his free hand, place it on the towel to hold it in place and take a cotton ball, dowsing it with the antiseptic. Lifting the towel, I rub his arm until there's no more blood and the cut is my definition of clean.

Throwing the bloody towel into the sink, I blow on his arm, trying to speed up the drying time. Once I think it's dry enough, I take a gauze roll and wrap his arm, covering the vertical cut up his forearm. Securing the wrap in place with a small piece of medical tape, I roll his sleeve down. Beyond was silent the whole time, not getting off the counter.

Sighing, I set my hands on his shoulders, pull him down until he's standing and hug him.

"Oh, Beyond." Beyond set his head on my shoulder. "We're going to skip school. I'll drive Misa, she's leaving school with Rem. I'll be right back." Kissing his cheek, I inform Misa that Beyond is sick but that she should go to school. I told her that if need be, she should make excuses for us and to have fun at her fashion show.

"Oh, Beyond is sick? That's horrible." Misa says, as she buckles her helmet. "Why aren't you coming to school with me?"

"Beyond's dad isn't home so I'm staying with him."

"I could stay to, I'll do whatever I can to help." Misa pumps her fist.

"I know Misa but you have a test today, and you have that fashion show. You can't afford to miss a day of school. Besides, someone needs to tell Light, and L, that the meeting is off. You can handle that for me, can't you?" I know that mentioning Light was the equivalent of playing dirty but Misa didn't know that Myself or Beyond ever self harmed, and I'd like to keep it that way.

"Oh, of course." I walk Misa to her locker, giving her a hug before going back to my bike and driving to Beyond's house. He's right where I left him, and maybe I'm imagining it but the bloody designs on the mirror look different, but there's no blood on his hand and the sink hasn't been turned on because the bloody towel is still there.

Whenever Beyond self harmed, he isn't himself. He's convinced it's because he's fucked up inside. I believe it's a sort of safety mechanism, his body mind makes him more, for lack of a better word, human and that makes him act different. But that's only if it's his own blood and it was his fault.

"Come on Beyond." I tug my sort of comatose friend to his room.

"Kat." He says once I sit him on his bed, his back pressed to the wall.

"Yeah B?" I take a seat next to him taking his hand.

"Why am I so fucked up?" He's quiet. Shifting, he lies down on his back, his head on my lap.

"You aren't fucked up-"

"I am. Who else thinks what I do?" I put my hands in his hair, playing around with it. Not noticing the corner of something plastic sticking out his jeans pocket.

"And what is it that you think Beyond?"

"I see people and I can't help but analyze their moves, finding the easiest way to hurt them, picking apart their weaknesses. I know what to do to kill someone, all the different ways. I find a fascination in blood, I can't help but-"

"Like I said before Beyond, you aren't fucked up."

"Why do you think that?" Beyond sounds cynical, judging my answer.

"Because I know you. You might be different, but you aren't fucked up Beyond." He sits up, pulling me into a hug.

I hold Beyond as he begins to cry, maybe he isn't crying but it sounds like he is. Once he calms down enough he sits up and leans up against his wall again. I can't help but notice that his eyes are only slightly red and my shoulder is not wet.

"You know, crying defies bodily logic." He murmurs, staring at his healing forearm. "It serves no purpose, it's just extra liquid. It's pointless."

"Yeah, I suppose, but it's good to. It feels better sometimes," I lean back as well, taking his hand again, playing with his rubber bracelets. "to cry than to hold it all in."

"You're such a hypocrite." he says, smirking.

"So are you." We sit in silence until I remember something.

"I snuck some preserves out of the house before I got here, it might help." I dig around in my backpack, locating the crystal jars of strawberry jam. Handing a jar to Beyond, who immediately digs in, using his fingers like he always does when he doesn't have a convenient spoon with him.

"Thank you, for skipping school with me." He says, screwing the lid on the fourth empty jar.

"It's not a problem." The gauze on his arm isn't holding well after the way he was eating and now it's loose. I snag his arm and roll up the sleeve, adjusting the wrap. "Be careful." I say and let go of his arm, half aware of the silence and atmosphere that has settled over us.

"Hey Kat?" Beyond asks, after fixing his sleeve.

I clear my throat before answering with a scratchy 'yeah'

"If I died, what would you do?" If he died? "Or, if I killed someone, if I was sent to prison for my crimes, what would you do."

The smack seemed to echo in his empty house.

"Don't even ask crazy shit like that." I say, rubbing my hand. "If you died I'd yell at you at your grave for leaving me and then I'd cry and I'd be lonely, I'd cry and Misa wouldn't be able to help. If you killed someone, then you must have had a good reason for doing so. If you went to Jail I'd bail you out." Beyond doesn't seem stunned that I hit him, he seems to be reviewing my answers.

"I'm sorry for hitting you." I mumble.

"It didn't hurt." He says, breathing in and straightening up.

"Why would you ask something like that, Beyond?" Now it's me who's crying. "Why would you ask me what I'd do if you died? How could you ask something like that? Do you want to die? Am I not fulfilling my job as your friend? Do you not want to live anymore? You going to leave me alone here? I mean, Misa is my best friend as well but there are things that she doesn't understand. You're important to me Beyond, and- and you promised-"

"I'm sorry Kat."

Beyond's arms are cold, they always are, even through the sleeves of his shirt and the gauze wrap. His hair is soft though and his hugs are nice. While it's tight, my shoulders being pressed inwards, it still feels like home.

They say that home is where your heart is. Well if I've given some of my heart to Beyond then I guess wherever Beyond is is home, right? The same goes for Misa, it's a little heart triangle for us. And even if we do keep things from Misa, it's for her own good, we all still have our trust, even if we get into fights, and we start crying, I guess we'll always be there for each other.

"This is why I asked about being fucked up. No one else would ask those questions." He mumbles into my hair.

"I told you, you aren't fucked up. Quit saying so." Beyond pulls back and I smile.

"Love you Kat."

"I love you to Beyond." Smiling cheekily, the both of us, we trod downstairs. When we get to his kitchen, my phone starts ringing, a simple preset ringtone because I'm not spending time customizing a tone for my mother.

"Something tells me your mother isn't happy about you skipping school." Beyond chuckles his little 'ku ku ku' laugh before putting his jam in the fridge.

"Yeah, just let me take this." I step onto his porch for a moment, arguing with my mother until finally hanging up and taking the battery out of my phone, slipping both pieces into my pocket. "I'm back." Beyond is asleep on the couch.

Chuckling I sit on the stiff arm chair with a book from the bookshelf. Something was up though, I could feel it in the recesses of my mind. Putting the book down I scan the room.

The door is locked, the remote is where it always is, balanced on the T.V., the couch pillows are how they were when I walked out, save for the ones that Beyond is sleeping on. The carpet hasn't been disturbed but just to be safe, I lift up the corner and look under, nothing. Mr. Birthday's spare hat is on the coat hook and Beyond's black Osiris shoes are by the door. I walk into the kitchen, the plates are stacked in the wall side cabinet, the bowls right next to it. The silver ware hasn't been moved, the sink mat is the same as always, there's a cereal bowl with Lucky Charms in it in the sink and the magnets and pictures on the fridge door are how they always are.

My eyes zero in on the Knife organizer.

All the slots are full, but I still feel the need to check. Lifting each knife by the handle, I inspect each one until one of the steak knives comes away without a blade.

"Beyond you fucking promised." I say, slamming the empty handle onto the granite countertop. But that wasn't what was bothering me, it just wouldn't be, it wasn't that simple, there was something else. "Keep looking Kat." After a few more minutes of investigation, I find the blade stuck in the slot, placing the handle back I continue looking.

"There has to be a reason for unease. This isn't normal, what the hell is up." Beyond was keeping his promise I suppose but Beyond never falls asleep that easil-...

Beyond!

Rushing back to the couch, Beyond is still laying there.

"Beyond! Beyond Birthday!" Grabbing a handful of his shirt, I yank him up but he won't wake up. He's not dead, I know he isn't, I can hear his heartbeat and he has a pulse, but why isn't he waking up? How long was I outside? The windows were locked, no one was in here when I got here this morning. What happened? Why is he unconscious? His body shows no sign of injury.

At least not external injury.

Was it food poisoning?

It couldn't be, Beyond always eats jam, and there was no way that my jam could have been poisoned, I had some this morning, and that was in our store. The only people who ever use the jam from the store are me and Beyond because everyone prefers what's in the fridge. Was anyone in the store?

Beyond and I...

and L and Light

* * *

So there you have it! What do you think, I apologize for the out of character of Beyond this chapter, my dearest apologies. But please tell me what you think.

~feather-ink


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11!

* * *

"Beyond!" His eyes flutter open like they do in the corny chick flicks Misa watches, when a character dies and then they wake up.

"Sorry, Kat, I just felt sleepy for a minute." He says.

"Beyond, can you move, are you alright?" He tries to sit up but flops onto the couch.

"Kat, I think I'm gonna be sick." Swearing I drag Beyond into the downstairs bathroom, just in time for him to vomit. Holding his hair back, I rub his back, not sure what to say in this kind of situation. Once he's done he spends about five minutes, shakily standing at the sink to rinse his mouth out. He slides to the floor, his breathing his as shaky as his hands. He has a fever, I can see it, his face is getting red.

Food poisoning doesn't work that fast does it? This has never happened! His skin is getting hotter and he's sweating.

"Beyond, take off your clothes, I'm going to start a bath and then, I'm gonna check out the jam, and once you're situated I'm gonna cuss out Light." Beyond complies, slowly, and I get some ice water going in the bathtub. Beyond gets in and I run into the kitchen, practically tearing the refrigerator door off, I take out the jar of Jam and the ones in my bag. Setting them on the table I run back to Beyond.

After sitting in the freezing water for ten minutes, he gets out. His still feels hot but the temperature has gone down just a bit. Pulling on some black jeans he sits outside the bathroom while I make a call.

Richard Carson is an old friend of my mother's and he works at a lab. I'm hoping he can take a look at the jam and see if there was anything that shouldn't be in there.

"Hey Mr. Carson, I was hoping you could do me a favor."

"Hey Kala, sure, what do you need?"

"A friend of mine got food poisoning from food that was in our store, I was wondering if you could take a look at it."

"Yeah, are you able to bring the food to me or would you rather me come over?"

"I don't want to leave him by himself..."

"I understand, just give me the adress and I'll be by shortly."

Once I hang up, I go sit in the hall with Beyond, who looks absolutely drained.

"I don't think L or Light did it deliberately." He says.

"That still doesn't explain why you got sick so suddenly after eating something from our stores when the only four people who could have touched it were myself and you and L and Light."

"Think about it Kat, Light isn't that reckless as to do something like this and L was too busy with the sweets." Beyond rushes into the bathroom and spends another ten minutes washing his mouth.

"Still, how do you explain-"

"I don't know Kat, but I want to, just wait for your doctor man to show up." Beyond coughs and lays his head back onto the wall.

"What kind of germs could actually live in Jam?" Beyond tries to shrug but gives up half way. We opt to wait for Mr. Carson who arrived about ten minutes later.

I leave Beyond in the bathroom, puking his guts out and watch as Mr. Carson unpacks everything before giving him the jar of jam that Beyond ate this morning as well as some other jars that he hadn't finished. Mr. Carson spends a good forty five minutes examining everything.

"Well Kala, from what I can see, there's no difference between the jar he had this morning and the previously eaten jars."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Yes, nothing was in the jam that shouldn't have been there. It was all perfectly normal jam. Does he always eat this much?"

"He normally eats more than this, so much more, this was only his first jar today, that I know of."

"Do you mind if I look him over, maybe it wasn't in the jam."

"He doesn't do good with doctors, he doesn't like them."

"Tell him to man up." Mr. Carson smiles and I chuckle, knocking on the bathroom door.

"What is it exactly that you're planning on doing?"

"If I can, I want to take a blood sample."

I knock on the door. "Beyond?" Pushing it open, Beyond is scrubbing his teeth with that bubblegum flavored kid's toothpaste. "Do you have equipment with you?"

"No, If I can get you two to come to my office, I have the equipment there."

"Hey, B? He says there's nothing wrong with the jam but he wants to do a blood test, is that alright?"

"Whatever, I don't have anything left in my stomach." He growls, slowly falling into that foul mood he gets when he's sick. I grab my bag, as well as a shirt for him, and Beyond leans on me as we follow Mr. Carson to his car. On the way, Mr. Carson starts asking questions, what did he eat, was he around anyone sick, and other questions he thought useful. Beyond answered as best he could but it was obvious that he wasn't in the best of moods.

His mood seemed to get worse when Mr. Carson brought out the needle. Beyond had a morbid fascination with blood, it was creepy at times, like the drawings on the bathroom mirror, but he didn't like people taking his blood. To him that was the worst sin a person could commit. But here's where it gets complicated.

Beyond was a complicated person, no doubt. He will allow some of his commandments to be broken if it works out in his favor. For instance: Mr. Carson taking his blood will eventually benefit him because he'll find out who or what got him sick and if it happens to be a person, well, Beyond enjoys fighting. But there is something else that goes on his mind, that not even I can comprehend, for as long as I've known him, I've considered putting together a case study but Beyond would no doubt find it and nitpick until I got it all up to standard.

I look away as Beyond's blood runs into the tube and into the little container that Mr. Carson has set up. A few minutes, cotton swabs, band aids and a bottle of orange juice later, and Mr. Carson says he can drive us back and that he'll call me back when he gets the results.

Once back at Beyond's house I exile him to the couch so he can sleep. He complies, grumpily, after I force him to drink some water. Once he sleeps, I put a cold washcloth on his forehead, because I felt the need to do something other than wait for him to get better. I can't take him to a hospital, Beyond's had enough visits, not to mention that he attacked a nurse the last time he was there and he cussed out a doctor, the receptionist and other patients surrounding them, telling them that they were all going to die eventually, going into detail about it. But in his defense, he was doped up on pain medication.

Beyond somehow manages to fall asleep, after taking off his t-shirt and having me pull his hair into a ponytail and off his face. With too much energy in my system, I set about cleaning his house, letting my OCD shine out. But eventually, I ran out of things to clean, and began alphabetizing the bookshelf, knowing full well that once Beyond was feeling better, he'd re clean and organize everything.

I began pacing, not knowing what else to do, other than wash the bleach off my hands from washing the shower. I just about jumped out of my socks when the doorbell rang. Misa was still at the fashion show with Rem and they wouldn't be back until six. Who could be here. Misa _did_ tell L and Light that Beyond was sick didn't she? Even if she did, the meeting wasn't scheduled to begin for another forty seven minutes.

Sure enough the duo stood at the door, L eating a banana and Light looking he honest to god didn't want to be here.

"Beyond is sick, he's on quarantine by my authority, I'm going to ask you two to leave."

"If he is quarantined then why are you with him."

"I'm his friend." Was my resolute answer, said a little too quickly and could have been mistaken for denial by those who didn't know better, but I _ am _Beyond's friend.

"Just let us see if he's alright." Light said, his tone said that he had places to be and things to do as well as people to see.

"Normally, if someone is sick then that means they aren't alright, Yagami. But I suppose you can come in momentarily, he's asleep." The two slip off their shoes and come in, taking a seat on the couch.

"Do you know what made him sick?" L asked, staring curiously at Beyond, his eyes drifting from the grimace on his face to the washcloth that was dripping ice cold water into his hair.

"I think it's a form of poisoning but I have a family friend who's taking a look at some DNA samples. It wasn't anything he ate today so we think it might be something else." I bite my lip, casting my own eyes to Beyond as he shifted slightly. I adjusted the blanket, knowing that his OCD mind would hate if the blanket wasn't perfectly arranged.

"What were the symptoms?"

"High fever, vomiting and fatigue, his mood hasn't improved either." Tucking my feet under myself and hugging my knees, burying my head in my legs I try to let go of my lip, knowing that if I keep biting it, it'll start to bleed.

"You're really worried about him." L says, Light is looking around, everywhere but Beyond. I push off the couch, taking the rag from Beyond's forehead, walking to the sink and running some more water in it, putting an ice cube in the center before folding it and placing it back on his still hot skin.

"Yeah, he's hardly ever sick."

"Well, is there anything we can do to help?" L asks, finished with his banana and folding the peel into...something.

"No, I can handle it, his dad is going to be back soon anyhow." The two of them leave, closing the door softly.

I continued to wait, staring until something out of place caught my eye. On the coffee table was something yellow, leaning against a half empty water glass.

A little banana peel swan.

* * *

So, I hoped you all enjoyed it, I apologize for the wait. Anyhow, please tell me what you think! I just wanted to thank Witch-Werewolf-luv-twi-loner and Crazykilljoy4242564 for becoming my first followers, so thank you for that you two!

~feather-ink


	12. Chapter 12

The explanation is down at the bottom.

* * *

I was forced to go home later that night, after passing out on the floor by Beyond. Mr. Birthday came back and called Malcolm for me, who then drove me home. I had to explain everything to the black haired man before going. He seemed to have it under control. Mr. Birthday used to be a doctor, quite a good one actually, a surgeon.

Misa had called me and I had filled her in as well. By the time I got back to my house I was an emotional wreck. I walked right past my parents and up to my room, locking the door and pulling out my song folder, flicking through the lyrics. I was worried to say the least. Mr. Carson would call tomorrow. I had to get that information and find out what happened to Beyond.

It had to be some form of arsenic, but who would do that Beyond? Granted he had a lot of enemies but none of them were stupid enough to poison him.

Suffice to say, I got no sleep that night and I'm pretty sure that I wore a path in my carpet. When Friday morning came I piled about ten jars of the jam that Beyond and I made ourselves, none of that Smuckers crap, into my backpack, informing my mother point blank that I was skipping school again to help take care of Beyond because he was sick.

"Good riddance to the thug." Was mother's answer, around a mouthful of diet pills and coffee. I saluted my middle finger and took off to Beyond's. I was still in pajamas, white pants and a black shirt but that didn't matter. I ran up to Beyond's door. Mr. Birthday answered the door, waving me in without question. Mr. Carson was in the kitchen.

But I brushed past him, I didn't want to hear what was up with my friend, I wanted to know how to make him better, because if he stayed sick for long, the sadistic sociopathic attitude that he adopted in grade school would creep up on him. That mind settled in when he was taken to Juvenile Hall. It was scary, I was literally scared of my best friend but eventually he buried that personality and I was not eager for him to go back to that. He almost killed Misa, she was in the hospital for four days, she didn't go near him for about a month.

But he was better, at least for now.

Beyond's door is opened, it's never opened.

He's lying down, not curled up, he always curled up when he lays down.

His face is flushed, his face is always stark white

Cautiously, I approach him. I don't know if he's going to jump or if he'll snap at me.

"Beyond?"

"Go to school Kat." He said, he was facing away from me so I couldn't see his shining with sweat face or his wide open garnet eyes.

"I'm fine, I can afford to miss a few days."

"Kat, Go. To. School." His words were paced, angrily paced, he was clenching his jaw, I could tell.

There would be no winning, not today.

"Right, okay. Um, then, I'll go. You can text me if you want to, don't worry about it, and I uh, I brought you this, you can have it when you want." I put the jars of jam on his nightstand and prepared to leave.

"Kat?" Beyond had silently rolled over, snagging onto my hand with his warmer than normal hand. "Sorry I yelled." He coughed into his pillow and let go of my hand. "Now get lost in case this is contagious."

"Screw it if it's contagious, I don't care you know that." I hugged my friend, not noticing how he leaned into the touch before slowly leaving.

When we were younger, I got the flu, Beyond still hung out with me in my room and contracted it after, it wasn't one of our finer moments.

I opened his closet and pulled out my spare set of clothes I kept here, black jeans and a blood red t-shirt with a white vest. I ran all the way to school, having left my bike at my own house.

I got there half way through first period, handing the teacher my late slip. The office lady had not gotten mad for not receiving a phone call from my parents, she in fact, happily wrote the note after I told her I was checking in on a friend who was terribly ill, not a lie, and that I was so sorry that I couldn't make it in time, totally a lie, and that it would be a great help if she could write me the late slip, it was a great help. At the same time, I got all Beyond's missed homework.

I waved to Misa, promising to explain it to her at lunch.

Once the lunch hour rolled in, I got my coffee, and Misa's, an apple from the fruit bar and finally sat down under the tree.

"Is Beyond okay?" Misa asked, sipping her coffee, licking whipped cream from her lips.

"No, he's still sick but he told me to come to school. A doctor friend of mine is there with him and his dad."

"I hope he's alright, would it be alright to come and visit him after school, my group's not meeting today." I nod, biting my apple, taking a moment to relish the crunch before chewing and swallowing. Misa, deciding not to dwell on the sad topic that was Beyond's sickened state, began chattering away about her math class. She pulled out her homework and I started helping her until two, no three, shadows fell across our space.

"Miss Amane informed us you would be absent today." L said. Mello was eating a chocolate bar and Matt was sporadically glancing up from his game.

"Change of plans."

"Light is gone as well." He says, crouching on the ground, resting his hands on his knees. Mello stayed standing but Matt took that as his cue to sit, legs crossed, playing his game.

"Yagami's not at school? What happened?" I could faintly hear Misa's panic but only barely above my own panic. Light _never_ missed school, _ever._ It wouldn't be good for his image, the golden boy was not allowed to miss school.

"It seems he got sick." L mused, he didn't sound sympathetic in the least.

"_Light Yagami_ got sick?"

"Oh no! Poor Light! I hope he's alright!" Misa started fanning her face and I shot her a glance, setting my hand on hers in a slight chance to calm her down.

"Yes Miss Amane, that is correct, Light has contracted a flu of sorts and his mother refuses to let him go to school."

"Thank you for telling us, I suppose that means we can cancel our meeting today right?" Maybe, just maybe I could get a nice peaceful afternoon.

"No need to cancel, we'll just have to carry through without Light or Beyond." With that, the teenage panda left, his brothers following, Mello with a sarcastic middle finger salute.

"Damn it." I mutter as Misa sips her coffee.

Misa giggled. "What's so funny?" I ask, angrily stirring my drink with my straw.

"Nothing." Misa said innocently.

"Misa Amane I swear to-" My phone rang, the default song of Lie by the Vocaloid synthesizer Megurine Luka, and I pulled it from my pocket, it was Mr. Carson.

"Really? That's wonderful, thank you so much! Thank you!" I couldn't help but rock back, kick my legs and laugh like a deranged child.

"What happened?" Misa bit into her banana.

"Beyond's gonna be okay, he doesn't have to go the hospital and he should be fully recovered by the end of the week!" I force my half scream half laugh away and breathe, reinstating my composure.

"That's great."

"So what were you saying?"

"Misa-Misa wasn't saying anything, nope, nothing at all." The bell rang and Misa scrambled to gather her things and ran off.

"Misa! Get back here! I don't know why you're running! We have the same class!" I chuckled and began running after her, coffee still in hand.

* * *

In Mr. Sidoh's class we did book work and L, and I finished first. Rumors had already spread about why Light and Beyond were absent. Some people said that Light killed Beyond and in retaliation I murdered Light. They forget a few things though, if Light killed Beyond, I wouldn't have waited days to do it, I would have knocked out the golden boy, shoved him in a box and mailed him to some godforsaken island full of rabid monkeys and cannibalistic birds.

Then the island would blow up and Light would only barely survive, he would be set adrift in the ocean where he would float over a jelly fish forest then he would land in a country via seaweed raft and be packed up again and mailed to a university in Britain to be studied on to add research to the existence of mer-people. When they figure out he's actually a human they'll mail him back to a hospital and I'll kill him there.

The bell rang in the middle of my inner death planning and I was snapped out of it by a book slamming on my desk. Misa had dropped a text book.

"Kat, the creepy pervert is waiting for you in the hallway." She said, practically pulling me out of my seat.

"Miss Amane, could I talk to Kala for a moment?" L asked, "This will only take a moment." Misa looked ready to refuse but I smiled and she walked off, promising to meet me by my locker.

"What is it?"

"I was simply wondering if you would allow me to visit Beyond again." L asked. I narrowed my eyes.

"Um, yeah, I guess so, we're walking over there. Um, okay, come on." L stared a moment before shrugging. "I just, I gotta stop at my locker real quick." L nodded, ambling behind me.

As I approached my locker, I found Misa and Mello yelling at each other, Matt playing Mario Kart, and Near was sitting on the floor flying a plane.

"Can't go one day without a fight." I mutter.

"Kat!"

"L!"

I opened my locker, throwing my books in the metal box and locking it.

"Misa, quite yelling at Mello!" Misa shut up but childishly stuck her tongue out at the chocoholic. "L's gonna' visit Beyond with us, I don't want to her any back sass, okay? Okay."

I began walking, Misa at my side, L trailing his brothers.

To be completely honest, the walk back was terribly awkward.

I knocked lightly on the door, completely ignoring Mello and his bitching, Matt and his game noises and Near and his airplane imitations.

"Hey Kat." Mr. Birthday answered the door and waved Misa and myself in, then after a second glance, motioned for L to come in as well but sneakily pretended not to see Mello, Matt or Near. "He's awake, woke up just a few minutes ago."

"Thanks, um, this is L, he's our project partner, he wanted to visit as well." I set a hand on the back of my neck, rubbing before dropping both hands and running upstairs.

"Beyond?"

"Kat, I told you to go to school." His voice was groggy, heavily laced with sleep and fatigue.

"I just got back from school you nitwit. We came to visit...we brought L to."

"Why the hell-"

"Can it Beyond, I had to put up with Mello on the way over, the least you could do is bear with me." I scolded and my red eyed friend smirked. He was sitting up but his face was chalky and his lips were drawn in a slight grimace, his hair covered the sheen of sweat but his red eyes were oddly blood shot and the bags under his eyes were more prominent.

"I do apologize if my presence is unwanted." L began to shuffle out.

"Sit down." I snarled lightly and L froze sitting in Beyond's office chair while Misa and I sat on B's bed.

"Guess what?" I asked him.

"Judging by your grin I'd say someone died." Beyond joked and Misa squeaked.

"Not quite, Yagami was absent today, he got sick." Beyond chuckled, 'ku ku ku' and lolled his head back onto the mountains of pillows.

"Nice. So group meeting is cancelled?"

"Not hardly."

"I see." He grew strangely silent. And I mentally slapped myself.

"You owe me Oreos." I said, trying to get rid of some of the tension in the room.

"What for?"

"For taking care of your sick body before you forced me to go to school, and for paying the bill. Oreos, double stuffed." I said, smiling.

"Oh! Beyond guess what!" Misa said, bouncing. "I got ninety two percent on my test!"

"That's great Misa, much better than last time." Beyond said, as Misa glowed with pride in herself.

"You have to get better soon so that you and Kat can tutor me and I can get one hundred percent on the next quiz."

Misa had that special gift, I was jealous.

"I'll be sure to do that, I'm gonna' sleep, you guys should go." Beyond said. Misa gave him a hug and I kissed his cheek and we left, L wishing him good health. I paid Mr. Carson and hugged Mr. Birthday.

We began walking again.

By the time I arrived at my house, Misa had gone to Rem's, Mello, Matt and Near had all sped up to make it home and L was with me.

"I guess we could stay at my house, they aren't home." I say softly, pulling my keys from my pocket and opening the door, waving L in.

"Your house really is lovely." L says.

"Oh, um, thanks I guess. I'm gonna run upstairs and then we can decide what to do." I wasn't to keen on leaving L alone, in my front room but I was freaking out, my contact was sliding around my eye, I had a headache and on top of that, I was actually hungry for once.

My room was still locked, thank heavens and I ran to my vanity to get rid of the stupid lens, brushing my bangs over my eye instead. I snagged a granola bar and bottle of Excedrin, slipping both into my pockets before going back down.

"I get the idea even if you're parents are not currently home, you do not wish to continue our work here, is that correct?" L said looking my way as I jumped the last step.

"Am I that easy to read?"

"No, not by any means but it's just a hunch. We can go to my house." With that, L opened the door and waited for me to walk through.

L made small talk on the way.

"As far as basic questions go, I do not know your favorite color." Trying to inconspicuously sneak bites of granola bar into my mouth during this time was proving to be difficult and I almost choked before answering.

"It's- uh, it's blue." I cleared my throat. "What's yours?"

"Why do you like the color blue?" Fine L, be that way, don't answer my question.

"I just do."

"I don't have one."

"What?"

"You asked me what my favorite color is, I do not have one." Could this guys get any more odd? I mean, I know I said I don't have any qualms with L but sometimes, especially when half my attention is on B's well-being, I just don't have the patience for his...L-ness.

"Okay."

When we arrived at L's house, the first thing that got my attention was that Mello and Matt were huddled with Near at the kitchen table, Mello was snickering as he explained something to them.

This struck me as odd for three reasons. One, Mello _never_ wants to work with Near. Two, Matt didn't have a game system with him and was actually paying attention and three, Mello was pointing at a list, pointing each of his brothers as if assigning roles.

"Hi L!" Mello said, folding the paper and slipping it into his back pocket. Matt grinned and Near began clashing his robots together.

"Mello, what are you up to?" L said, straight to the point.

"What makes you think I'm up to something L?" L simply shrugged and motioned for me to follow him up the stairs.

"Do your brother's always scheme together?"

"No, usually, it's only Mello and Matt." L says, kicking his shoes into the closet before sliding the door shut. His bedroom door was open. "It worries me that Near is involved."

"So, if schemes with just Mello and Matt are bad, how bad is the outcome if Near is involved.?" I sat down on the floor.

"About sixty two percent." he said, after a moment of silent calculation.

"That's not good."

"Indeed."

From the floor boards I heard two words.

_Operation Commence_

* * *

I understand, I've been gone for a month now. In my defense, I had writer's block for the last week and a half and I had to go to camp and then up to Idaho and I had no chance to write. I am so sorry, I promise I didn't abandon this story. Things, in the story, have been progressing slowly but they will begin to pick up from here on in, promise!

Thank you for not totally giving up on this fanfiction

~feather-ink


	13. Book Notice

Alrighty guys so this is just a quick little notice. My family is moving all the way from Cozy old Utah to the other side of this country to Virginia so I will be parted from internet connection for who knows how long. So just let the record show, I have not given up on this story but I am putting it on hiatus for a while.

I apologize for this inconvenience, but please don't lose faith in this book even if it is like thirty seven percent crack.

Thank you so much!

~feather-ink


	14. Chapter 13

I am finally back, i know it's taken forever but i'm here now! We just moved to Virginia all the way from lovely Utah so, lucky me. We still don't have internet so most of this is typed during lunch at school. It'll take a while for chapter updates but i swear I'll do my best. I also want to thank Black Dragon Mistess for being the first to review the story! Yay! Thank you so much.

Without further ado:

Chapter 13 in A Trail of Songs.

* * *

After standing awkwardly in L's room for a moment or two, the panda closed his door and sat walked to his bed, sitting on the floor in his crouch and pulling text books from his backpack.

"Unfortunately, I still have unfinished homework, I believe you do as well, would you like to finish it?"

"Um, yeah." awkwardly, and with about as much grace as a gimpy seal, I sit down on the floor and pull out my text book, battling with my back pack, which apparently didn't want to give up Calculus.

Math was honestly my least favorite, sure, I liked numbers but I liked study more. Social Study, it was so spontaneous, analyzation and unsure numbers. I didn't like Math, because Math would always be Math. 'X' would always equal '2' if the equation was X+1=3. Always constant, I hated constants, I was excited with unsurity, but no, I had to do math because if I failed, it was another meeting with my father-

"Kala, are you alright?" I looked up, L was staring at me intently. His eyes, if it were possible, seemed wider, darker. Not as reflective, deeper. Almost open.

"Yeah, just thinking." I chuckled lightly and opened my book. I looked up again, not quite looking at his eyes but the space in between. "I'm fine L, really."

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me."

"Why?"

"So I know that you are not lying." But I can't, I won't. Because, I know, that if I look into his eyes, those obsidian orbs would stare straight into my soul and uncover everything I've worked so hard to cover up.

But at the same time, I had to. I had to, L wouldn't take no for an answer. And maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing but I was not keen on the idea that even a small hint of weakness or pain or suffering dark back story would shine through my eyes like a beacon, drawing one L Lawliet into my mind.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, willing all emotion to drain from my eyes like Beyond had taught me before I opened them.

"I'm fine." I say with a small smile. "Like I said, I was just thinking, and I'm a little worried, about Beyond." It wasn't a total lie, I was worried about Beyond.

L looked suspicious but let it slide and dove into his chemistry homework.

"Kala, I do wonder if I could ask your help-" L needed my help? "On this one question." L had moved on from chemistry to an English page we were assigned. We were given scenarios and asked to analyze them.

"Um, of course, yeah." I got up and moved over so I could sit beside him and see the paper.

"It says here, according to scenario 6c, Marta forgives Angelo even though he is obviously the guilty party. Why would she apologize to him if he was at fault? Now I would understand if it were to absolve conflict but that isn't the case here." I re-read the scenario and thought.

"I believe it's a case of friendship. Marta and Angelo were good friends and Marta didn't want to lose that companionship even if that meant sacrificing a bit of pride and putting aside her stubborn streak." L seemed to ponder that for a moment.

"Then did Angelo not treasure that friendship?"

I pinched the end of my bangs between my fingers and thought.

"I'm sure he did, but not to the extent that Marta did."

"Thank you for that insight."

"Sure, anytime." I returned to my original spot and worked the last few problems.

"I'm going down to the kitchen, would you like to join me?" L asked suddenly.

"Uh, sure?" With that same gimpy seal grace I mentioned earlier, I stood up, amazed that I didn't fall on my face, and followed L out the door and down the stairs. We passed Mello, Matt and Near on our way, the former carrying a knapsack. I quirked an eyebrow but he only smirked and continued on his way up the stairs.

L hunted through the fridge before pulling out what appeared to be a chocolate cheesecake. L cut two pieces, one that was about half the size of the dessert and then one that was substantially smaller. The latter of which was handed to me.

"I've noticed that you eat sweets in moderation, unless of course they are Oreos." I could have sworn that the corner of his lips tugged into a micro smile, but of course, I could have been wrong.

I've been running on fumes all morning anyways.

We sat down at the table with our dessert and L attempted small talk.

"Have you ever had a pet?" He asked.

"No, mother isn't one for animals." I speared a small piece of cake and brought it to my lips. Swallowing, I add, "I've always kind of wanted a cat though. How about you?"

"I think a cat would be a nice pet. Mello is currently trying to convince Watari to let him get a dog."

"I wouldn't be able to keep up with a dog, I'd need a lazy pet." I mutter. What did L put in the cake? Truth serum? Maybe it was just a side effect of excessive worrying.

We continued to have awkward small talk until L finished his gargantuan snack before heading upstairs.

We made it in all but twenty paces when L suddenly stiffened. Before I could comprehend the situation, L's hand was clamped on my wrist and he was tugging me towards the door.

That's when the world exploded.

Not literally, no, besides, I think, if the world exploded, it wouldn't smell like corn starch and Maple syrup.

I chanced opening my eyes, coughing up a cloud of blue.

"What the hell-"

"I believe I have just found out what Mello was plotting." L said.

The door swung open to reveal the guilty party plus a Kodac camera.

It flashed before we could react. Then the trio walked down the hall, Near pausing with a look of pity before retreating to his room.

"I truly apologize for this." L said, and I finally got a good look at him. the majority of his face was bright blue and his hair had a healthy coating of yellow. His always immaculately white shirt was a mosh pit of neon and his feet were splattered in Smurf Blue. I couldn't help it.

I laughed.

But then again, I probably didn't look much better.

"Why are you laughing?" L asked, turning his owlish gaze to me.

"I don't know, it's just-" I tried to bite down on my cornstarch covered sleeve to stifle the laughter bubbling in my throat. "All this, it's genius by the way, I'll give your brothers that much, but I'm not sure, sorry, I can't help it." L just stared at me in curiosity

Mr. Wammy soon appeared and seemed flustered before taking charge of the situation.

He directed me to a spare bathroom, offering to take my clothes to the laundry room.

"Here, they're a pair of L's old jeans but they will have to do while your clothes are getting washed." Mr. Wammy seemed apologetic. I had explained to him, after he asked me if I wanted to call my mom, that it might be better for everyone if she didn't hear about this. Mr. Wammy, apparently understanding on some level, accepted my reason without complaint.

Only my vest, over shirt and jeans were stained, the thickness of my crimson shirt prevented the color bombs from reaching the black fitted shirt I was wearing underneath.

I got in the shower, trying to get the sticky mess out of my hair. For some reason, Mello saw fit to add a watered down Maple syrup to his bombs, thin enough to explode, thick enough stay in my hair.

By the time I stepped into the steamy bathroom, I was sure that i had washed out at least two layers of the streaks in my hair. Sure enough, when the steam cleared away from the mirror, my streaks were dull. Lucky for me, Near had the foresight to take our backpacks out of the room, so my bag was safe. I had brought it with my to the bathroom because Misa had filled the front pocket with extra hair dye and make-up.

After pulling on my undamaged clothes I slipped into L's baggy jeans. Sure, they were smaller than what he wore now but they were still humongous on me. The fates seemed to be on my side this particular day because my belt had escaped terror of the corn starch. Tightening it around my protruding hips I stared into the mirror, noting the unusual gaunt shadow on my cheeks and the hollows of my collar bone and shoulders. Wrestling with my shirt, I managed to get it on, but I noted that I could still see my ribs.

Oh well, not much I could really do about that.

After some skillful make-up work, courtesy of being Misa's practice dummy for the majority of my life, I managed to hide any and all visible scars, shadows and bruises that had been rendered visible by the shower. I finally emerged to see L walking down the hall.

"Watari wishes to know if you'd be willing to stay for dinner as a way of apology for the mess and hassle of Mello's prank."

I just about sweat dropped.

"He insists." L added, as if sensing my hesitation.

Somehow, I was roped into sitting down with them at the table.

I tried to pass for a shadow and it worked for a while. Mello talked with Mr. Wammy about the up and coming soccer game, he was captain of our school's team and a damn good one at that. Matt was alternating between Pokemon battles and food while Near used his fork to build a mashed potato sky scraper.

L was eating more cake.

"So, Kala-"

"She goes by Kat."

I turned to L, slightly surprised that it was he who said it.

"My apologies." Mr. Wammy said, clearing his throat. "So, Kat, I remember vaguely hearing about your plans for college." the man took a drink from a coffee mug before continuing. "I remember hearing from your father that you'll be going into the medical sciences."

My spirits plummeted.

"Uh, yeah, that's the plan anyways." I force a smile onto my face. That was father's plan, sending me off to med school, states away where they won't have to worry about their daughter and her troublesome friends damaging their social status. Their daughter getting into med school would certainly boost their points by who knows how much.

"You don't sound to thrilled about going to med school." Mello pointed out.

"I just have other things on my mind, but I really do want to go." That's right Kat, play the perfect daughter, even here, even miles away from your Hell on Earth. Play perfect even as Beyond pukes his guts out at his home, while Misa obsesses over a boy that will never love her back.

Dinner progressed a little smoother after that and due to Mello's excessive whining, I was pulled onto the couch for a movie night. It was just as well, school was a late start tomorrow.

L precariously perched himself on the couch, his feet hidden by his jeans and the cushy couch. Near took the seat to my right so I was boxed in. Mello and Matt took the floor, sprawling out as Mr. Wammy took the recliner.

The credits began rolling and the Hunchback of Notre Dame opened. Clopin began his tale and I brought my feet onto the couch, wrapping my arms underneath, between my thighs and calves as the gypsies stepped off the boat and onto _the docks near Notre Dame_. A chill seemed to settle in the air and I subconsciously rubbed my arms, friction replacing the goose bumps. My attention was still on the movie and I almost didn't notice when a blanket settled itself around my shoulders. Snapping to attention, I met L's eyes.

"Thank you." I say softly so as not to disturb Mello as he sings along with Clopin. L nods and returns to his original position.

The blanket was warm, and it smelled like brown sugar and vanilla. It was nice. Everything in my house smelled to strongly of lavender and bleach.

As fake as the people who lived in it.

Unfortunately, the combination of the warm blanket, Quasimodo's 'Heaven's Light' and the tone of family made me sleepy and soon, my hidden bi-colored eyes fluttered closed.

* * *

Alright everyone, I'm just going to apologize again, it's been, I don't know, maybe a month, possibly more? It feels like years to me. I hope you all like this chapter. The plot is going to pick up from here, swear it, I understand it's been kind of slow until Beyond got sick and Kat got all paranoid. Oh, just in case it's unclear, I don't know if it is or not but one of my friends asked me about this, Kat always has her bangs over her amber eye, keeping in mind that the other is dark blue. She does occasionally wear contacts but she planned on skipping school so she didn't put them in. Uh, if you have any questions pertaining to story events thus far, please ask! I'm gonna thank anyone who's stuck with this story, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

I'll get started on the next chapter as soon as I can, until then, just sit tight! Thanks again!

~feather-ink


	15. Chapter 14

Hello again everybody! thank you to anyone who read the last chapter! I'm just gonna cut everything short and begin, here we are, installment number 14!

Oh, I lied, quick warning: Language and suggestive flash backs

* * *

_"Kala." I opened my eyes, blinking in the dark. Why was I even up? I had school and it wasn't even three in the freaking morning._

_Then the smell of Wild Turkey hit my nose._

_"What the Hell?" I sit up a little groggy, rubbing my eyes and feeling too much heat in my head. Why was my room so hot? I almost always blasted the AC and when the weather was cool, I left my window open. It was **supposed** to be open tonight, there was a good wind chill and my room was pleasantly cooled. But not anymore, my head was hot and the heat was oppressive._

_"Kala dear, wake up sweetie." The smell of alcohol washed over my face and I instantly scrunched up my nose. Then something clicked._

_My Father was in my room._

_"Get out." My voice is shaky, not as strong as I want it to be. I scurry to the end of my bed, pressing myself to the headboard in a fight or flight, flight, reaction to get away. For some reason, my fight reaction didn't kick in, I didn't lash out, I didn't punch or kick. I just felt my breathing pick up, my heart rate increase, my muscles tense in preparation, readying myself to run past him to the window and jump over the balcony railing like I threatened to do a year ago._

_"Calm down sweetie." His hand crept to my arm, rough callused fingers bruising my pasty skin._

_"No, get away from me." My voice cracked._

_"Kala it's okay, you're okay, calm down." He closed in, the heat intensifying in my mind._

_"I'll scream god damn it, I swear it, I'll scream." I say, trying to take my arm from his tight grasp._

_"No you won't." He hissed. "You know why?" My bed dipped under his weight. "You secretly wich for your mother's affection and this isn't exactly the best way to go about that." He grinned, I smelled Palinka underneath the Wild Turkey and grimaced. _

_The grip on my arm tightened and a whimper escaped my lips._

_"Now, just stay quiet sweetie."_

"Kala!"

The room was hot and there was a hand on my arm. The sheet was tangled around my feet and my hair was stuck to my face. The voice was familiar and my eyes snapped open.

There was no smell of Palinka or Wild Turkey.

I was not in my room.

My father was not there.

And L was holding my arm.

"Kala?" L's obsidian eyes were wide.

"L?" I pushed myself upright and stared.

"You were having a bad dream, you weren't waking up." I blinked, taking in the room. I was in a bed, there was a desk, a window seat, a book-case and a zebra patterned rug. A guest room?

"I-I- what happened?"

"You fell asleep during the movie and we moved you to the guest room. I came here this morning to wake you up and you were in the middle of what appeared to be a particularly bad nightmare." L's hand was still on my shoulder and he was staring at me again.

"It's fine, I just-" shut up Kat. "Thank you for waking me up." My head drops and my hair falls over my shoulders. The hand leaves my shoulder only to cup my chin and tilt my head up.

"Your eyes." L says, leaning closer. "_Heterochromia Iridum_." L says before it clicks. I jerk my head from his hand, furiously tugging my bangs over my hazel eye, breathing erratically as words bounced around my head.

_"Kala_, _you must not show anyone that you have two different eyes."_

_"Why mama?"_

_"They'll make fun of you dear, it isn't natural. And it's ugly, and you can't be ugly, you have to be beautiful."_

_"So people with think I'm ugly and they won't like me anymore?"_

_"That's exactly why dearest."_

_"But why is it ugly?"_

_"It's a mutation."_

_A mutation_

_Mutation_

Mother's sharp snarls echo in my mind. I remember, the anger at my apparent impudence was simply infuriating. Beyond always told me that my Heterochromia was amazing, a biologic Mona Lisa. Misa said that it was cute. But I couldn't help it, ghosts had taken residence in my skull and the exits didn't seem to work.

"Kala, why don't you take a shower, your clothes are clean, I can have Watari drive you to your house if you want." L asked, taking a step back, severing the physical contact.

"Um, yeah, yes, please." I work the sheets away from my feet and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up shakily. My clothes were folded on the nightstand in a nice orderly stack. L pointed me towards the bathroom and I rushed through the shower, trying to hurry but my hands wouldn't connect like they were supposed to.

After five panicky minutes I was pulling on my clothes and staring at myself in the mirror. I had to calm down.

I went through this period of time in fourth grade where I got horrible panic attacks. I was on medication for a while but it didn't seem to help. They happened when people mentioned sexual harassment or anything that my parents had drilled into my head. It also happened when the smell of alcohol, of any kind, was the dominant stench of a place.

They stopped when I was about thirteen and it wasn't because I faced my demons or the medication worked. I don't really know what it was but I hoped that they didn't come back.

Running my hands through my hair, I tug my bangs over my eye and sigh. I had to dress in yesterdays clothes but I could just change when I got home, more than likely, I'd have to sneak in through the window to avoid parental confrontation. With luck, they wouldn't have checked my room and wouldn't know that I was gone.

When I made it down the stairs, L was whispering furiously by the door with Mr. Wammy. So I stood, awkwardly waiting by the foot of the stairs while they finished their arguments.

When they finally finished, six minutes later, L opened the door and gestured for me to walk outside.

We began walking to the car and noticed the keys in his hand and that Watari was still inside.

Was _L_ going to _drive_?

My answer soon became clear after L opened the passenger door for me and climbed into the driver's side, delicately starting the Rolls Royce.

"Kala?" L asked. "My apologies, I will have to get used to calling you Kat." He amended. It was all I could do to give a feeble 'yeah'

"May I ask you a question?" L backed out of the drive way, surprisingly easy, maybe the panda _could_ drive. "Following this one of course."

"I suppose so yeah." Consciously, I clicked my seat belt and locked it, just in case L isn't that good of a driver and we end up in the hospital. It was odd, not seeing him curled up, sitting actually quite like a normal person. But then again, what the hell was normal anyhow?

"If you don't want to go to Medical School, where would you want to go?" I didn't bother acting surprised or defending, that 'yes I do want to go to medical school' L knew I didn't want to go and I didn't see a point in lying when I knew he wasn't going to tell anyone.

"Music School. I want to study music, and if that doesn't work out, art." L was silent as we rolled to a stop at a red light. So far he'd only been five miles below the speed limit, no accidents and he'd stayed more or less in the right lane.

"Music." He said, as if rolling the word around his mouth. "I think that is a good idea, you certainly have talent. Do you play an instrument?"

"I play a few, piano, viola, I like guitar the best though."

"Then why did you list it last?" L made a left turn instead of a right, so it looks like we'd be spending an extra seven minutes driving.

"Force of habit, parents don't like guitar, I gotta practice when they aren't home." At this point, I couldn't really be bothered to care that I was telling L the truth, let him make all the assumptions he wanted.

"You're parents have a lot of rules...don't they. I couldn't help but notice when we were at your house. Everything was impeccably clean, ordered, it smelled like bleach and flowers." L said.

Wow, so he picked up on that did he?

Of course he did.

"Yeah, it's all about image for them." I muttered.

We pulled up in front of my house and I sighed.

"Thanks for the ride L." I said softly, closing the door. I'd made it two steps when the window rolled down.

"Kat?" I turned around, now what?

"Yeah?"

"You're eyes are beautiful, you shouldn't hide them."

* * *

"Beyond freaking Birthday, where the Hell are you!"

After L dropped me off, I snuck into my room, got dressed, showered again and stared at my song wall.

_Shinedown: Her Name Is Alice_

Just to spite my mom, I took a chocolate muffin from the pantry and took a bite, smirking in her face. Once outside, I ditched the muffin in the garbage and got on my bike, riding to Misa's house so I could pick her up.

Mr. Carson had called while I waited for Misa to finish her make-up.

By some miracle of the gods, Beyond had recovered over night, sleeping it all off. He was left with a slight head ache but he had those all the time so it was nothing new.

"The Hell Kat? Quit yelling-" I cut him off with a hug, squeezing around his neck, practically hanging from it as he was forced to wrap his arms around my waist in order to keep me up.

"You're okay!"

"Of course I'm okay." He said, setting me down. He wasn't that much taller than me, only a few inches but we could see perfectly eye to eye when he slouched, which he was now.

"You're a fucking jerk, you know that?" I said, dragging him outside.

"And why, dearest Kat, is that?" He asked sarcastically, already settling back to his normal attitude.

"You just had to go and get sick, leave me to deal with everything." I ranted, getting on my bike. Misa hugged Beyond to but contented herself to listen to our little 'spat'.

"My apologies, I shall try to the best of my ability to never become ailed by disease ever again, as long as I shall live." he said, bowing obnoxiously.

"That'll have to do for now." I say, trying to hold back a grin.

Finally, we get going, revving the engines just for the hell of it and took off, arriving at the school a few minutes later.

"Oh, fuck it." I say as soon as we pull to a stop.

"What?" Misa asked, fixing her hair.

"Yagami's back to." In a blur of black lace and blond hair, Misa left her helmet in my hand and raced off to welcome back the golden child. Beyond parked his bike and hung his helmet on the handle. Coming to my side, he threw a gangly arm around my shoulders.

"You think if Yagami was a murderer, Misa'd still adore him?"

"No doubt." I said without skipping a beat. Misa appeared preoccupied with Light and we knew that nothing we could do would pull her away so we walked to the courtyard.

Beyond and I took a seat on the stone benches.

'seat' being used rather loosely as Beyond was crouching and I decided to sprawl across it, leaning into the corner.

"So Kat, what's bothering you?" Damn! He picked up on it already!

"Why do you assume that every time I close my eyes and tilt my head back, that something's wrong?"

"Because that's what you do when something's wrong." Garnet eyes glinted, flashing darker before returning to normal. I let my hand fall to the ground and my fingers searched for a wood chip. I came up with a twig, it would have to do, and I threw it at him weakly.

"It's not something to be said out in the open." I said, waggling my fingers at him as if casting a spell.

Beyond looked like he was about to say something but before he could a high pitch squeal split the sound barrier. The next thing I knew, I had a lap full of blond teenager.

Misa's wide blue eyes were shining and her doll hands curled up in my lapel, bringing my head up.

"Light just asked Misa to be his girlfriend!" She screamed. I stared, looking past Misa to Beyond and farther still to Light who was waiting a few meters off.

"No. Fucking. Way." I said softly.

That bastard! What the hell was he doing? He had no right to! Misa was a great girl and he obviously didn't like her nor did he ever pay any attention to her. The only thing he knew Misa as was the president of his fan club. Not only was this bound to go down hill but Takada would soon get involved.

_Just fan-fucking-tastic._

"That's great Misa." I said weakly. Misa, obviously, didn't notice and jumped off my lap, running to Light and dragging him back.

"Can he sit with us at lunch?" Beyond avoided my gaze, turning to look at a tree and I almost threw something at him.

"That's okay Misa, I wouldn't want to impose on your friendship, maybe some other time?"

Misa clung to his arm, smiling brightly.

The bastard child walked off with my friend and left Beyond and I to ourselves.

In instant, I had an arm around Beyond who was twisting his bracelet again, cutting off the circulation in his wrist.

"I'm fine Kat." He growled.

"I didn't say anything." I said quickly, standing up and tugging him with me. "Come on, I have whipped cream stashed in the teacher's lounge."

Dragging Beyond to the school, we made our way to the teacher's lounge and I snuck in and out in under twenty seconds, coming back with a full can of whipped cream, which I handed to Beyond.

We found another deserted hallway and I watched as my friend drowned his memories in dairy confection.

"So, how was the meeting with just L?" he asked before spraying some of the cream directly into his mouth.

"Odd, Mello, Matt and Near set off corn starch color bombs in L's room."

"Did they now?" He asked, pulling a jam jar from his backpack. I watched as he sprayed some of the whipped cream in, mixing it and adding more before tipping the jar to his lips, the, now, pink substance sliding slowly into his mouth.

"Yup."

"So what's bothering you?"

"If I didn't go to Med School with you...would you be alright if I went to music school?" Beyond paused, seemingly frozen in still life.

"That's what this is about?"

"For the most part." Beyond was silent, finishing his treat and slipping the empty jar back into his bag. He stood and I followed, like my limbs were attached to his, and we began walking.

"Kat, you should go to Music School, you'll enjoy it a lot more than Med School, screw what your parents think." We got to our first class as the bell rang.

"Speaking of which, why do you care so much?"

"We've been through this Beyond." I said sharply but quietly.

"I know we have and I still fail to see reason."

"There is no reason Beyond, no logic at all." I sat down at my desk, a hyper active Misa on one side and a calm calculating Beyond on the other.

"That's the fucking point." I growled.

Beyond just smiled and ruffled my hair.

* * *

Alright, there we go, the next installment is finished. I actually wrote the majority of this in Spanish class. Not during the teaching portion, I've worked up to much of a good rep to do that but we have a sub and we aren't doing anything so I figured 'hey, now's as a good a time as any.'

So... I hoped you all enjoyed this. Please tell me what you think!

~feather-ink


	16. Chapter 15

Alright, finally, we come to the next installment. I want to thank everyone who read this! I was so happy when I looked at the traffic graph! Thank you guys so much! This chapter is going to provide a little insight into the mind of one Kat Thatcher.

I keep forgetting to put the disclaimer in so: I am feather-ink, I love Death Note but I don't (obviously) own it, the only character I do own is Kat.

* * *

Unfortunately, Misa did drag Light to sit with us at lunch. I made sure to sit myself between Beyond and Light, ignoring the crimson glare sent my way when I did so.

Misa babbled, hanging off Light's arm and I sat back and watched, trying to figure out what his twisted motive was.

Did he want to start a war? Misa as the general of one side, Takada as the other? No, that couldn't be it. It would have been funny as hell but Light wasn't _that_ much of a low life.

At least, not that i've noticed thus far.

To make matters worse, L also decided to grace us with his presence and unfortunately, he decided to sit between Light and I. Why he decided to, I'll never know. We all lapsed into a sort of awkward silence after that until I decided to play Peace Keeper and threw a piece of apple at Beyond. It seemed to snap him out of his trance and he threatened to dump his water bottle on me. I wasn't quite sure if he would or not but I hoped he didn't.

I was wearing a white shirt.

Light, Beyond, L and I re organized our meeting schedule so Misa could have Saturdays with Light. I also put in my two cents, saying I didn't want to meet every day mainly because I had things to do.

That was more or less true.

And Beyond knew it.

* * *

During P.E., Misa would not, for the life of her, shut up about Light.

And yes, I suppose I was happy for her, she'd been dreaming, _obsessing_, about Light since third grade and she finally had him. That would be well and good while they were together but what about when Light broke her heart and dumped her? Misa would probably still love him, no matter what.

"Thatcher!" I snapped back to reality in time to catch the red rubber dodge ball barreling towards my face.

"Sorry coach." I mutter, lobbing it back over the dividing line so it hit some kid hiding in the back corner.

L wasn't throwing any of the balls, just skillfully avoiding and catching a few, only to hand them to Mello who threw them with the ferocity and speed of a cheetah.

One of his victims limped over to the bleachers with a massive bruise on his leg. Coach didn't dock Mello or take him out of the game.

When we were allowed to change, Misa pulled me aside.

"Kat?" Big blue eyes bore into mine and I was forced to swipe my bangs aside. Misa was a little obsessive compulsive about looking at both my eyes when she was about to ask or tell me something important.

"Yeah Misa?"

"If I told you that Beyond liked you, what would you do?"

Where the hell was this coming from?

"I don't know."

"He's taking you out to ice cream after school because I'm going to go hang out at Light's house before you guys meet up." Misa said.

"Um alright." Where was this going exactly?

"Oh, Kat, you're super smart but sometimes I worry about your love life just a little bit." With that Misa patted my head and skipped off.

She _worries_ about my love life?

What fucking love life? I don't have one thanks to my daddy dearest.

I cringed and finished changing.

Misa walked home with Light and Beyond and I walked to where our bikes were parked.

"Let's go for ice cream." Beyond said. So maybe Misa was telling the truth.

Nodding numbly, I pull on my helmet and we tear out of the parking lot, heading downtown to Speck's Ice Cream House.

Jeremy Speck was an interesting gentleman , half convinced the world had gone topsy turvy on him. With the help of his wife, and their two children, they ran the best Creamery in the county.

"Hey Kat! Hey Beyond!" Martha Speck, a sixteen year old, used to be pageant girl, was a sweet little thing with a knack for making enormous ice cream cones.

"Hi Martha." I say happily. I don't know, there was something about Martha. Even though she was my age, she was tiny, child like almost.

"What can I get for my two favorite customers?" She sat on a stool behind the counter, disguising the fact that she was indeed under five feet tall.

I turn to Beyond, he liked to order, every time we went out. I don't mind, really, he knows what I like anyways.

We walk out, after paying, with a double fudge and cookie dough with gummy bears and a strawberry and birthday cake with white chocolate chips. Beyond told her to put them in bowls because apparently we'd be walking. Martha let us stash our bikes in the back of the store. So we set to walking down the half crowded streets.

"Hey Kat?" Beyond asked around a mouth full of chocolate chips.

"Yeah?" I was sort of distracted. Too stubborn to use my finger, I was trying to use my tongue to get rid of an annoying speck of chocolate that refused to leave the corner of my lips.

"For Christ's sake." He mumbled, coming to walk, backwards, in front of me, swiping the chocolate away, wiping his finger on his jeans before returning my side.

"I was going to get it myself." I defended, delving back into my ice cream.

"Sure you were Kat." He said.

"So what was it?" I asked, referring to his 'Hey Kat' earlier.

"Dad's planning winter vacation this year." He said, licking his lips. "You wanna' come?"

"I come every year, Beyond, why would I pass this one up? Where's your dad planning on going this year?"

"He wants to go to Japan."

"Really? Why Japan?"

"I have no idea, it's just a whim I suppose." We found a park and sat down on the benches. I took the chance to lean against Beyond, my back to his shoulder.

We sit in silence, comfortable silence mind you, and finish our ice cream. Once Beyond finished, I tugged him off the bench and dragged him to the swing set. Settling into the black rubber seat, I stared him down until he got behind me and pushed me.

I closed my eyes and leaned back a little back, feeling the wind rush into my face. I take note that Beyond is no longer pushing me and crack open an eye.

"You know I can swing higher!" I shouted.

"We'll see."

Thus started the swinging competition.

I closed my eyes and began pumping my legs, willing myself to go higher.

This was nice.

This, I could do.

Just Beyond and I, swinging in an abandoned park in rapidly cooling weather. By ourselves, not having to worry about my psychotic parents or stuck up pricks like Light Yagami. Not plagued by Higuchi or Mikami, those sons of bitches. Or the chaos that seemed to follow Mello everywhere.

Moments like these never happened anymore.

Mother had clogged my schedule with fittings and parties and other shit that didn't matter to me. Yet I always went, always smiled and nodded and recited and strived for the very perfection I criticized Light for having. Damn me and my hypocritical ways.

I had once spilled my heart out to Beyond, explaining everything. It was the one time I'd seen Beyond stunned into silence. We were both messed up real bad. That was a plain fact. But we reveled in it, dumping our meds down the sink. But also on that account, we'd shared everything, down to the panic attacks and the voices and dreams. But my little issue had stunned Beyond into silence.

Wide eyed, slack jawed, _silence_.

He spent six minutes holding me in a loose hug, not yet comprehending everything. His genius mind had taken its time arranging the puzzle and matching the cards and all I did was wait.

We didn't tell Misa.

Misa was a sweet girl and we both knew that we couldn't weigh her airy spirit down with everything. Ignorance was bliss, maybe Misa was living proof of it. Hell if I know, ignorance is not something I want.

We'd sat on his roof, not speaking, staring at the drop to the ground.

We had actually thought about it, toyed with the idea in our heads before sighing, shaking our heads and tucking the idea away in the recesses of our minds. Then we'd climbed back in through the window and slept on the floor.

It wouldn't have been the first time the idea had floated across our minds, no, definitely not the first and probably not the last either.

Beyond had made it a point after that to make physical contact whenever possible. Wrestling, holding and hugging, arms around my shoulder, whenever he could, to prove that not all touch was bad. I wasn't convinced at first but gradually I grew comfortable.

But only with Beyond.

"Kat?" I could vaguely hear my friend of the rush of the wind as it whistled past. It felt good, calming.

"Yeah B?" I didn't want to open my eyes. There was a sigh and a jerk and I found myself on the ground, face first in the wood chip and sand mixture. The swing hit the back of my head on its' return trip and I rolled to the side to avoid getting hit again. Standing up and dusting off I threw a handful of wood chips at Beyond.

"You're a jerk you know that?" I asked, clapping my hands to get rid of the stupid residue.

"You still love me." He said, throwing an arm around my shoulder as we began walking back to the Ice Cream shop.

"Yeah, and you're lucky that I do." I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. Beyond was usually pretty cold. Literally, his body temperature was lower than it should be. I never said anything because I didn't know if I was crazy, which I was, and hallucinating or if it was just some natural phenomenon that made Beyond some freak of nature.

He laughed his 'ku ku ku' laugh and we waved good-bye to Martha before starting our bikes and heading to Light's house.

We were twenty minutes late and quite frankly, I didn't give a damn.

Sayu answered the door, thankfully not pointing out why I smelled like wet wood or why there was still a wood chip poking out of my shoe.

Light and L were watching the news and Light's dad was with them.

Something was up.

"Hi Officer Yagami, Light, L." I said, kneeling next to B and coincidentally next to L, who crouched in front of the couch.

The news was on. And that was never good.

"What did we miss?" Beyond asked. I had to repress a chuckle, Soichiro had escorted Beyond to Juvie way back when. They didn't have a good history.

"There's a new mass murderer, killing criminals, people are calling him Kira." Light said.

"You automatically assume it's a 'he'?" I ask, stupid sexist bastard.

"Well do you want Kira to be a woman?"

"Kira does sound feminine." L says and Beyond chuckles.

"That's not the point-"

"The point is that there is a mass murderer who also happens to be a hypocrite." Beyond drawls. Mr. Yagami gets up to leave, emergency text message, who knew that the NPA texted each other, that called for him to return to the station. Poor Soichiro, he looked even more sleep deprived than L and he looked as haggard as an old man.

As it happens, the absence of Mr. Yagami and Beyond's last comment, led to a massive debate/discussion/argument about 'Kira'. It was an alright meeting, I like arguing, it's fun, oh so fun.

We surpassed our two hour quota and ended up staying for dinner. Mrs. Yagami was a nice woman and appeared more than happy to have us, having 'accidentally' made too much food for dinner.

I offered to help her in place of Sayu who was drilling Light about Misa.

"You don't have to help Kala, you're a guest."

"It's no problem Mrs. Yagami, it'll give the boys some time to talk." I was impressed at my own skill. Of course, I wouldn't have been lying if 'talk' meant 'speaking in poorly disguised condensing tones chosen to irritate the others and prove dominancy' then yes, they were talking.

Once we got the table set and the food out, I took my seat beside Beyond, Sayu on my other side so she could sit across from Light who had L to his left. Mrs. Yagami sat at one of the heads of the table and we said a quick grace before eating.

Mrs. Yagami was a good cook and it made me miss when my mother used to actually cook. Before the diet pills and surgery to render her...society's definition of beautiful. I was, on the other hand, wire coat hanger thin, ribs and hips protruding, the knobs of my spine visible but not grossly so, apparently still chubby in my mother's eyes. I hated it. But still, I could never bring myself to eat much, and if I did, it would come up later that night.

Beyond watched me out of the corner of his eye as we ate. L was making an attempt to eat, in order to be polite, eating the fruit and I didn't miss the silent exchange of a jam jar passing under the table. L enjoyed the rolls a little more after the fact.

I tried to force the delicious food past my lips, trying not to gag and swallowing it with pleasure.

When dessert was demolished, on L's part more so than anyone elses, Sayu and I washed dishes so Mrs. Yagami could sit down. She looked worse than her husband and it made me sad, the least I could do was wash the dishes for the poor lady.

Sayu asked me about Misa, what I thought about her dating Light. Then she said that if Misa and I were like sisters and Misa married Light, that would make me and Sayu sort of step sisters.

Sayu was a cute kid, at that age where even though she questioned things, she still found joy and light in everything.

Even her bastard ass of a brother.

I returned home that night, after a long hug with Beyond on his porch, slipping in the front door. Inhaling bleach and rosemary this time, mother must have used all the lavender, I slipped off my shoes, noticing the absence of mother's car keys on the key hook near the door.

And that only meant one thing.

Father was home and I couldn't leave now.

I broke into a run, dashing up the stairs and I'd just made it to the top when strong arms wrapped around my waist.

Fuck My Life

* * *

There you have it. I hope you enjoy it. So, Kira has made an appearance, Kat is being vague again, small minute hints have been revealed. There will be more brain picking and exploring in the next chapter I promise, also, Beyond is going to drill Kat about her stay at L's, which he has yet to find out about. Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thank you so much for reading

~feather-ink


	17. Chapter 16

Alright, here we go, chapter...16! Yay!

Um...let's see, rated T for Kat's terrible language. Near the end of the chapter, there's a scene in which Kat 'gives herself up to the past' You can skip it and those words in the quotes will signify the beginning of the scene. Just to warn ya'.

Disclaimer: I am feather-ink, I love Death Note, but I do not own it, the only person I do own is Kat and her family.

Without further ado...

* * *

My bed was my sanctuary.

After I had torn down the curtains, changed the mattress and sheets, burned the pillows and thoroughly remodeled _everything._

This process had happened repeatedly over the course of the years, ever since I figured out how to work the furnace. The piece of machinery was located in the basement, also called th land of forgotten dreams. Now for most people, things that are connected with dreams are located in the attic, but mother had yet to find the attic so most of the treasured memories were thrown down the stairs and forgotten.

So I trudged down the stairs, forcing my newly bruised body to power through, dragged the mess of bed covers behind me.

Silent feet on the steps carried me to the cement floor. It was still a dungeon down here seeing as no remodeling had been done...ever. Ignoring the certificates, the wooden carvings from camp, old dresses that didn't fit, a smashed light green ukulele, among other things.

Carefully, I used a long metal grab hand to feed the fire in the furnace. I had shredded the sheets, savagely, with a pair of safety scissors and the strips were hungrily consumed by the red and orange tongues. Even from a few feet away, sweat began beading on my brow and running into my eyes.

I ignored that to.

I didn't stop until the room smelled funny and the sheet strips were gone. The pillow was dragged into another section of the basement that may have once been a prison cell. Throwing it in and dousing it in the gasoline I kept just outside, I lit a match and tossed it, watching the green and blue fire dance.

Please, don't think me irresponsible, the room is completely made of stone and I had long since cleared out anything flammable. I waited for the fire to die down before going in with my massive bag of dirt, smothering what was left of the fire and the charred remains of my pillow.

Lucky for me, all my stuffed animals were spared so I would not have to burn those tonight.

Or was it morning?

Depends on your perspective. Does one thirty-two in the morning constitute morning or night?

Who cares?

Next on my list was a shower.

A scalding shower in which I would scrub the hell out of my body, turning it an ugly pink color, lathering my body with different soaps until any hint of whatever transpired was erased...at least in a physical sense.

Tiptoeing back into my room, now devoid of any human life, I locked myself in the bathroom and turned on the shower, twisting the knob as far as it would go.

Stripping what I had left on, I stepped into the stream, closing my eyes at the water hit my body.

I had long since stopped hissing in pain when the water hit my bruises. No longer. But that didn't mean I didn't wince anymore because honest to God it still hurt. It's one of those things that you can't just stop feeling. It'll linger until you just cant stand it anymore.

I began scrubbing, using a black loofah to tear at my skin because heaven knows what I'd do to myself if I used my nails. Scrubbing first then the layers of body wash.

Apple, cherry blossom, water fall, honey dew, coconut, ocean breeze, repeat repeat repeat.

Several layers of skin later I was washing my face, gargling the burning water and spitting it to the wall. I inspected every inch of my skin, using the mirror wall to look at my back.

Not good enough.

Apple, cherry blossom, water fall, honey dew, coconut, ocean breeze, repeat repeat repeat.

Stepping out into the now steaming bathroom, I quickly toweled off and dressed. Pulling on a pair of sweats and a tank top, I set to work redying the streaks in my hair.

By the time I finished, my hands were stained in blue and red and I spent the next twenty minutes scrubbing that off to.

Now red and raw and several skin layers thinner, I set to the fourth floor of our house. The gym floor. I paid for it myself so my parents had no idea it was there.

I would work off my pain, and this usually lasted until the morning. Working myself tired and sore, I would later drag myself to my balcony and stare at the ground.

* * *

_"Kala Thatcher?" The teacher was calling role, it was a substitute, a young woman fresh out of college. The perfume she was wearing was strong enough to egg on my nausea, and I was sitting in the back of the class._

_"Here ma'am." I was feeling terrible this morning and for a sixth grader with end of the year testing coming up, that wasn't a good combination. The teacher went on to finish role before handing out our assignment._

_Using multicolored expo markers, she demonstrated what we were to do. Beyond sat in the desk beside me and was busying himself by shooting rubber bands so they hit the white board beside her head._

_After finishing the assignment I dropped my head to the table with a dull thud and closed my eyes._

_"Miss Kathy? Can I take Kat to the nurse?" Beyond's voice was muffled by the cotton that filled my ears at the time. The teacher must have given him permission because Beyond pulled me out of my seat and ushered me to walk on my own out of the classroom._

_Once the door shut, he let me slump against him and he half dragged me to the nurse._

_He didn't know, I hadn't told him yet._

_After vomiting in the nurses office being diagnosed with a sever migraine, I was sent home. Malcolm came to pick me up and the old man, bless his soul, carried me to the car._

_After pulling into the garage and helping me up the steps, Malcolm called Mr. Carson. It would take about a half hour for the doc' to get here and I passed the time vomiting up the contents of my stomach and trying to ignore the aching in my head and body._

_I made Mr. Carson lock the door, keeping out Malcolm, Millie and any of the other help that had come. Before the check up began I swore him to secrecy and he complied._

_The bruising was centered on my hips and legs, mainly my thighs, as well as on my stomach, all fresh and still a deep-set sickly purple color. Paired with that were the splotches of blue across my back and the small cuts that lined my waist. My head ache was due to the bump at the base of my skull._

_"Kala this has to be reported"_

_"No, this doesn't leave this room." Mr. Carson tested my blood and found the result of the constant vomiting. _

_Seems I had an allergic reaction to the alcohol that was forced into my system the previous night. _

_When school got out, Beyond forced his way into my room, via lock picking kit I got him in fourth grade. He pushed past Mr. Carson and crawled onto my bed, sitting beside me, silently._

_It took two hours for Mr. Carson to leave and to convince Malcolm that everything was alright. Beyond stayed by my side and put a comforting arm on my shoulder._

_"Do you think it would hurt?" I say quietly, tugging my shirt down to cover the bruises._

_"What?"_

_"Dying." I had often contemplated it. Would it be simple? Could I make myself? It was possible._

_"You'd leave me all alone?"_

_"You have Misa, you wouldn't be alone. You two are the only ones that would miss me anyways." I say._

_"That may be true Kat but-" _

_Foot steps were heard coming up the steps and Beyond dove out to the balcony to hide. He'd just gotten out of sight when my door creaked open._

_"Now Kala, I do hope you haven't told Mr. Carson anything you shouldn't."_

_"N-No, not at all." Damn it Kat, tell him to go away! _

_But I couldn't my body still hurt and my head was on fire and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die._

_"Good girl." My mouth wouldn't connect to my brain and I could pretty much forget forming a coherent thought._

_"You're all mine, you know that, don't you?" callused hands glided through my hair and I tried to shove them away but my arms appeared to be made of lead._

_"Don't you?" The hand tightened, yanking and sparking a new pain in my head. I wouldn't answer, not that I could._

_"Do you understand Kala? You'll always be mine. No. Matter. What." The words were paced, slowly as he leaned forward._

_I heard the balcony door creak and I saw crimson eyes behind my father. I was suddenly very glad that Beyond and I had established non verbal communication._

_I told him no, I told him to stay where he was, told him not to do anything because my family could make him disappear. I told him leave...and he complied._

* * *

I sat on the balcony railing, my feet dangling over the edge. My hair was plastered to my face with sweat and my arms were shaking.

My eyes had begun to close on me when I heard my name.

"Kat!"

Curious, I looked down.

Beyond stood on the ground, looking like he had just woke up and threw on random clothes. A black sweater was sliding off his shoulders and he was just wearing a wife beater underneath. He was still in his pajama pants and wearing two different shoes.

Before I could comprehend anymore, he had the ladder against the Balcony and was standing beside me, lifting me off the rail.

"God Kat! I called you and you didn't pick up and I got a bad feeling, what the hell happened? Why are you sweaty-"

"It happened again." I said in a hoarse whisper.

Beyond looked past me to see my bare mattress and then crimson eyes turned back to me, seeing the still angry pink of my skin and the new dye smell underneath the sweat, and under that, the body washes.

"Oh Kat." He whispered, pulling me into a stifling hug and I yelped.

A massive purple black bruise spanned over my lower and mid back. Splotchy and ugly I didn't Beyond seeing it but he turned me around and lifted up the back of my tank top. Lighting prodding the bruise he sighed and tugged me to the mattress.

Sitting down, he pulled me to his lap and began stroking my hair like he always did.

"Do you want to skip school today?" He asked.

"No, I can't." I say quickly. "I'll be fine for now. If I skipped, Misa would notice and then she'd...she'd know." As I'd mentioned earlier, Beyond and I didn't tell Misa anything about this. I wouldn't want her to. Maybe some time in the future, but definitely not now.

"Right." Beyond said in cleverly disguised defeat.

"Your clothes are in the closet." I sniffed. I'm just gonna take another shower real quick and we can go." Rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hand I squirmed away from Beyond and to the bathroom.

I had to time this perfectly, if Beyond knew...

The small blade was hidden in a bundle of plastic wrap, taped to the top of the shower walls. I had to stand on my tip toes to reach it and I almost fell in doing so.

Staring at the blade as the water beat away the sweat, I sighed. I had coined the term as 'giving myself up to the past.' It was fitting I suppose.

Curling into a ball under the water, I lay my arm across my knees. I used my right hand, it was steadier.

Once quick slash and the blood welled up immediately only to run with the water and pool in my lap. Once more for good measure and I moved my arm away from the water.

I turned the temperature up and held the cut to the water, enjoying the burning sting that accompanied it.

Too many on the scars on my wrist would alert Beyond, but he never checked my legs and it wasn't often that I wore shorts, and when I did, I wore socks.

Little orderly scars littered my calves and ankles. One inch across, forming a stitch like pattern across the skin.

Digging in the thin blade, I ignored the bite and drew it across. I had never gotten completely used to the sting but it felt good.

This cut was deeper than the rest and I had to bite my lip as the blood bubbled up.

I scrubbed it away, tearing at the skin layers a little before standing and rinsing off residue blood.

I remember when 'this' started.

The first night actually. The first night it happened. I had been a little girl and I didn't know what was going on. It hadn't made sense.

And now it did, and I was bleeding for it.

* * *

And that's the end of this chapter. I promise, the next chapter will be a little lighter. I don't want to edit this yet so I apologize, I'll do it later. But anyhow, tell me what you think please! Thanks for reading!

~feather-ink


	18. Chapter 17

Here we are, chapter 17, as a reprieve, but only slightly as there is no happiness really in this chapter, it's more of a recovery I suppose, from Kat's little 'episode' in the last chapter

Disclaimer: I am feather-ink, I do not own Death Note

* * *

I wore a dark purple hoodie to cover my wrists and a pair of tight jeans to aggravate the cuts on my legs.

Beyond stood, staring at my song wall.

"You've added a lot more the past few days." He noted, holding the corner of a piece of tissue paper I had written on with sharpie. The marker had bled through and stained my wall but whatever.

"Yeah, I guess that I have." I muttered.

Song clusters tended to happen whenever 'it' did. A large back up of songs, sometimes mulitple ones in a day were tacked up and then I went for dry periods where nothing was added. I tugged the heavy drapes shut, hiding away the map.

"Did you write anymore in your book?" His eyes darted to the place where I hid the crimson folder when it wasn't on my person. It was held in a small harness hidden between the bookcase and the wall.

"A bit." He asked silently if he could look at it and I let him, focusing intently on tying my shoe laces so each side was even.

"You kept it?" Beyond held up the red candy wrapper that L had stuck in the folder, the sharpie had rubbed off some but the message was still there.

"I forgot it was there." I say, still focused on my shoes. Beyond chose not to say anything.

"I'll wait for you downstairs." I was pulled into a hug, inhaling strawberries and Beyond's own personal scent. A kiss on my temple and Beyond was scaling the ladder.

Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I quickly put in the color contact, and run downstairs.

The news was on, another reporter talking about Kira. Apparantly the femininly named god was gaining popularity already but the police were scrambling for clues. Poor Soichiro, the man was already away from home often, what with being the Chief, but this would keep him away for days, weeks possibly. He has a daughter who will miss him and a wife who'll worry.

I envy the Yagami family, excluding Light.

Mother was at the table, suprisingly not drinking coffee or popping pills like tic tacs.

"Kala, come sit a moment." I hid my limp and sat on the edge of the dark stained bench.

"What?"

"Do you know where your father was last night?" She wasn't looking at me, just resting her head on her fist.

"No, why?"

"I got home late and I didn't see him anywhere." She sighed. "So I just went to bed."

"No, I don't know, I went to bed early." I lied, my hand coming to rest on my legs, pressing against a particularly nasty green bruise, to remind myself to stay calm.

"What are you wearing?" She said after a moment. I was not in the mood to have this conversation with her right now.

"I'm wearing clothes, no one cares what I look like at school."

"Because they're all heathens. I however do care and I don't want my daughter being sent to school looking like she shopped at a thrift store." She said. I had take a moment to compose myself. She could switch from deathly serious matters to fashion in a matter of seconds. However, had she known that the shirt I was wearing under the hoodie actually did come from a thrift shop, she'd throttle me.

"I don't look bad mom, I look fine." I mumbled, getting ready to get up. My mother stood faster and grabbed my arm, my bicep, where a splotchy red handprint was already settled, and dragged me to the first floor bathroom. She forced me onto the scale, she kept one in each bathroom, and waited until it beeped.

"Not light enough." She mumbled at the two digit number. Clenching my fists, I stormed out of the room, out the door, slamming it and stalking to Beyond.

It's uncomfortable to sit on my bike. Even though I tried to scrub away reminders, bruises don't easily fade. Especially not with my skin. I shift for a moment, trying to appease the bruising on my upper legs and back before giving up.

"Misa called while I was waiting." Beyond said as I slipped on my helmet. "She's getting a ride with Yagami."

"Course she is." I say with contempt. Even if I do feel like shit and my mind is lost in some dark cloud somewhere, I can still be bitchy about Light.

No questions asked.

Beyond had changed his clothes at my house and apparently restocked on jam from my mini fridge because we didn't stop by his house, going straight to school.

Hyguchi and Mikami were waiting as per the usual and today, I didn't have the patience to deal with it diplomatically or rationally. I was either going to cry or scream and either was a bad idea.

"I heard your bimbo friend is dating Light." Mikami snarled. Did I happen to mention, Mikami had a borderline creepy obsession with Yagami? No? Well, he does.

"She's not a bimbo you creep." I mutter, resisting the urge to throw my helmet at his face and break his stupid glasses.

"You're calling me a creep?" He asked incredulously. Beyond was watching amused from his bike, not helping yet.

"Yes, are you hard of hearing?" Mikami began to advance but Hyguchi put an arm in front of him to stop him.

"Don't get riled up, the little slut is just looking for attention." He said, giving me a look that said I wasn't worth his time.

"Run that by me one more time you son of a bitch." I snarl. The bastard called me a slut, I was already mad enough to rip of his appendages, among other things, and that one word put me over the top.

"A slut, S-L-U-T, or are you hard of hearing?" He said, grinning sadistically. Mikami seemed to be enjoying the tables turning on me as my words were fired back and Beyond's hand settled on my shoulder in a vain attempt to withdraw from the situation.

"Now, Kyosuki, it's not kind to insult girls, it's especially rude to call them such crude things." Nakimura, Hyguchi's older cousin came up behind him and smacked him upside the head.

"She deserves the title!" He insisted vehemently and I wanted to kill him.

"How so?" Now, I don't particularly, like Nakimura, while he has a hold on Hyguchi and some sort of grasp on Mikami, he's still a bastard and a sadist, only interested in something if it benefits him personally.

He'd make a great buisness man.

"Just look at her!" He exclaimed. "Have you seen what she wears at those parties?"

_Hyguchi _was at those parties? How the hell did he get an invite?

"No, I haven't therefore, I cannot judge her." Mikami decided to pipe up, he was obviously looking for a fight and he was disspaointed that the climax was ending.

"I heard Light screwed your bimbo last night."

I started forward, feeling my blood boil but a cool hand gripped my bicep and pulled me back.

Beyond was on Mikami in a second. The sickening crack of the older boy's nose made me grimace and Nakimura pulled Higuchi back a couple steps as Beyond pulled Mikami to the ground.

I stood still, frozen, steadfast in the cold air. There's no way Misa would... but what if she did...

I didnt' notice when students congregated around Mikami and Beyond. I didn't notice when teacher's arrived at the scene and pried the two apart. I didn't see the change in Beyond's eyes or just how much Mikami was bleading and bruised. I saw Beyond being carted off to the office and one of the teachers calling his Dad. But that's it because I walked away.

Across the feild, down one of the walkways to the statue of the founder.

Behind the cold marble, I slumped and slid down to the concrete.

Why the news hit me so hard, I wasn't quite sure. Maybe because it was Misa and it was Light and Misa was my friend and Light was a lying bastard. There was of course, a chance that it was a lie because it was possible that Light wouldn't sink that low but it was a blind toss right now.

Pile onto that everything that happened in the past twenty four hours.

If this wasn't Life's 'Fuck you Kala Thatcher' I don't know what was.

* * *

There you have it, I know, it's shorter than some of the others but if I expanded from here it would stretch to long. So, yeah. If you have any questions, comments, whatever, please ask/review! Thank you for reading!

~feather-ink


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